Desire vs. Spirituality

I want you to do something really brave right now. I want you to stop what you're doing completely and really read this blog in front of you. I want you to take a deep breath in and then exhale deeply. Relax. And when you read these words, believe in them. It might seem utter ridiculous and absurd at first, perhaps even laughable, but I want you to believe in what you are about to read now.

Life is easy. Life is fair. Money comes to me all the time. I am loved, and I am love. I am successful. I am beautiful. I attract positive and necessary things into my life. I live a life of joy and peace and all is well. J

Okay, now you can laugh! When you laugh you attract more good things into your life. Now, your life may not be all these things…sometimes it may seem you're living in your very own horror film and some days you can't stop the tears from coming. But know this…life is what you make it. Seriously in the midst of all the turmoil and disappointments, there is still magnificence working at every level. You are never alone and all paths lead to the same destination. It takes some longer to get there than others but in the end we'll all get to that very same gathering. And then everything will make perfect sense. In the mean time, with a loss of memory and patience, we need to survive as best as we can and try to enjoy the moments leading up to that final act.

I know, I know, you want it, and you want it now. But just as we tell little children, you cannot get everything you want, and you cannot get everything you want, when you want it. You'll get it, eventually, but most certainly when the time is right. Life is like this…we have to trust in the Universe/God that it is working in just the right rhythm to keep your life at balance. Too much of anything isn't any good! Sure, we love sweets, and sure we love everlasting warm hugs and better yet passionate kisses! But sometimes believe it or not, it is not good for us all at once. Sometimes you have to get a taste of greatness, and then stumble down the ladder a bit, because we may become addicted and lose ourselves in a mess that hasn't even sorted itself out yet.

Be patient my darlings…life will make sense again soon. Be strong! Be cheery! Some people say they don't believe in anything, but I think these people believe more than even those who claim they do believe. Our bodies are in such intricate and symbiotic excellence, and we are a minute part of a much much larger cosmos that even they know they are fooling themselves when they say they don't believe in anything. They are just bitter or in despair…you need to try and pull yourself out of that. The more positive attributes you bring into the your life, the more positive attractions you can also bring into your life. "Your biography becomes your biology"…according to bestselling author Wayne W. Dyer.

So what do we do in the mean time? What do you like to do? You don't know? Sure you do…what makes you smile, what do you like doing more than anything else? Okay, wait…I am not speaking about addictions here. Too much alcohol, sex and cocaine, although they make you feel good, in excess is certainly not good for you…I mean…do you like numbers, or perhaps painting, can you sing? Do you like teaching, or do you enjoy interacting with animals? These sorts of things; these strong feelings that are put into you are called desires. It helps life become more bearable…it gives meaning when you wake up in the morning, a purpose, a drive, something you wish to learn more about and be successful at it. Everyone has different drive/desire, and if you don't listen to it, life without the temporary alleviations becomes boring or sad. Don't listen to negative things people say to you…if you're good at it, and you love it, and the desire is overpowering, then 9 times out of 10 it is something you should definitely pursue.

Some people think now that your desire should be suppressed, only to lead a life that is more acceptable to the society you may come from, or acceptable by the standards of what the world thinks you should be. Don't listen to them…you have desire put into you for a purpose. It doesn't mean that you will step on people's opinions or disregard completely what they may say out of love, but you cannot put your whole being into this, especially if it is negative. If you are faced with shortcomings while working towards your goal, see it only as a new lesson on your spiritual journey. Each failing is a 'one-up' on the spiritual ladder…and it hurts…and you cry…and you prefer to keep things as they were…but wouldn't you rather become more spiritually in tune with the universe and wait for something better than settling for less in life?

You deserve it, the very best, and your desires are exactly what you need to allow you to grow and learn about the experiences within the perfection of the universe. Think beyond limitations and obstacles on your journey and know that they are only leading you towards a higher spiritual awareness. Think that even achieving the mastery of understanding this idea is a desire that you must acknowledge! J

Now here we go again, repeat after me…

I am grateful for my blessings, I am proud of me, I am worthy, and I deserve the best the universe has to offer…

Love one another, and treat people and the land always with respect and sacredness and your seemingly impossible desires will appear to you in ways much more appealing than you could have ever imagined. J Just as the waves on the shore come in and out, so too will you gain, lose and recover that which is rightfully yours…trust the Universe…and still your aching heart… J

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98P-gu_vMRc&feature=related

A lovely song -- Ah loveeeeeeeeeee etttttt! Mr. Blue -- it's a beautiful new day!

Love Jair

Island Girl

I remember when first coming to America, when I was referred to as 'an Island Girl', I would feel as though I was put down. People would refer to my exceptional home as some 'third-world' or primitive country, insinuating that people from there wouldn't know much about the world or much about anything at all for that matter. People would poke fun and ask me if we wore grass skirts and used spears, if I knew how to work a microwave, and if I'd just disembarked from the 'banana boat'. Back then, I said nothing but only wore a sheepish and nervous grin; I figured they were from much bigger, much more established, much more organized and convenient lands, that they couldn't possibly fathom an island girl like me knowing about many things. I strongly disliked this though and as if it made much of a difference at all, I would prefer them referring to me as a Caribbean girl! Later on I realized that coming from a smaller, simpler place wasn't less sophisticated or striking but in fact a tad more alluring and interesting. I came from a place where people actually had family time, no over-time for work and just rest for that matter, and stunning and calm spots with hammocks that people liked to visit for holiday. Now I think that an island girl is something calming, and refreshing like an ice cold beer on a hot day with a gentle breeze… J

As they say, "You can take the girl off the island, but you can't take the island away from the girl…" My twin islands raised me well…and I am grateful for all the lessons I learned before beginning my journey in new lands. It taught me importance of simplicity of spirituality, of truth, genuinity and trust…I learned about Mathematics and Literature too, but these things are used more for enjoyment than in everyday adversities of life. I think the most significant messages were though, that no matter who you are, or where you come from you must treat people with respect. Everyone is on different paths, and if someone does you wrong, forgive them, because most times they do not know what they are doing. Treat people always as you would like to be treated, and do so with Love! J

So if you know better, use what you've been taught. If people laugh and poke fun at you because they are ignorant to the fact that you speak with an accent because you speak different languages, or ignorant to the fact that your country is in fact 98% literate, or ignorant to the fact that people from your country aren't as sick in the head because they have family time , fresh food and a lighter work load; then simply let them be. You have nothing to prove, because they don't know better. Forgive them, treat them with love and let it go. Maybe one day they will realize, or maybe they never will…

Remember also that you are entitled and worthy of all the beautiful abundance that the Universe has to offer. Whether you're a factory worker, a garbage collector, a worker in the vineyards picking grapes, or a 'lowly' island girl…it doesn't matter. We are all worthy and deserving of the best that life has to offer. Tap into that thought process…it isn't easy…because we are constantly brainwashed into believing that CEO's, 1^st world countries, and blonde, blue-eyed people rule the world. We switch on our television sets, or catch glimpses of billboards while whizzing by on bicycle that this is the way things will always be…but no! True we are where we're supposed to be in this moment of time, but it doesn't have to be forever… Continue living a life of love and respect and sacredness with all that you do, then also realize that the Universe is infinite and limitless and is to be shared between us all. We are all kings and queens of our life. It is hard to imagine it because human beings try quite hard to be better than another and create divisions…"Oh I'm better than you because I have larger gaps between my teeth!" But these things have no power over you, be the master…overcome this… and recognize your value and worth…because you are such a beautiful, powerful and wonderful human being worthy of the beauty the Universe has to offer. Whatever you do in life, do so with love and with joy!

Just a quick side note…gluttony is not…keep your heart pure and sincere and you will be blessed! J

Here is something to meditate on; while doing some light reading the other night, I came across this. Try to remember:

…Begin to act as if what you would like to attract is already in your life. If you want to create healing, formulate the picture, radiate out that energy to connect with all-creating energy, be cheerful and trusting in your knowing…

…Whenever you feel unworthy of having your manifestations arrive, remind yourself that no-one is unworthy and that the same divine energy that flows through you, flows through all of God's children and that all are worthy. This includes you…

[Excerpt from: Manifest Your Destiny by Wayne W. Dyer]

My First Audition

So most of my life I've always been in the background; literally scooping up pieces of paper from the ground in Musicals, and playing harmony instead of sweet melody in my steel-orchestras, being yelled at as a Production Assistant or Director's assistant on film sets in Trinidad & Tobago, standing in the back of photographs because I happened to be one of the tallest, or being polite as to let others go before me because it would make them happy. Here in America, which is a much bigger pond I aim to shine for once in my life; it may sound a bit silly coming to a much larger pond and hoping to succeed, but I want to prove to myself that I am just as talented as those who've been littering the stage, bragging about their more challenging music scores, sure that they in fact have insight well beyond others who work behind the scenes on set, or those who believe that they should be the center of attention at all times. It's not that I want to be a self-centered, obnoxious, and a boisterous individual; but I want to be "Just as good" or even better because of the ladder I've had to climb thus far. I know who I am and what I want, and I deserve also happiness, success and a desire to become the best that I can be…the greatest act is yet to come…

My love of film really goes beyond the petty aspirations of fame, it goes for respect of the craft, it goes for marvelous art that is constructed, for the story that inspires and evoke positive change, for warm tears and belly-full of laughs, for family gatherings and cuddling of boyfriends and girlfriends, for the simple fact that without it my life wouldn't make very much sense. I adore every aspect of what film has to offer, I have worked behind the scenes and am learning of what it's like being in front of the scenes and I find it all very irresistible…kind of like on the same scale of being infatuated with a boy; except it never leaves me or hurts me…. And I will always love him. Yes; I love film a great deal and I would love to be able to re-incarnate myself as many times in this life alone!

I had my first audition yesterday, and I'm quite sure by the stories I've heard from acquaintances and friends alike in the film business of how crazy at times they may be, I must say that for my first official audition though, it went quite smoothly. Perhaps because I was so excited that I was actually doing what I had practiced so many times before; in my classes and in the mirror.

The valet men all complimented me and said good-luck, there was an old man with shiny grey hair on the ride up in the elevator, who said I had a beautiful smile, and when I arrived to the suite, there wasn't a queue of people in sight. I signed in and the producer noticing me came outside his glass office to ask my name and shake my hand. He handed me a couple pages of script to practice before coming in and I filled out some paperwork. I giggled like a silly school-girl at the "How's my cleavage?" line as I wondered how far would I have to arch my back to show any cleavage at all. [Haha]

I don't think I got the part, partly because I couldn't wipe that tremendous and ridiculous grin off my face because I was so elated, and partly because the producer believes I need more experience in general. I've done quite a bit of work behind the scenes, but not in front of the scenes and not in the US; and so the journey continues…

I'm happy though, because even though I didn't get the part, the producer liked my personality and still wants to work with me and help me with my passion. He was pretty impressed that I play the steel-pan (drum) and he said even though I was a 'very' sexy young lady that I needed to have a professional head-shot at hand. I was proud to show him online that I did have headshots taken, but realized I should have them printed out and ready to disperse.

It's not easy being a flight attendant and scurrying from a flight to an audition, but next time I'll be better prepared. I'll have my headshots ready and in a bundle and I'll let them know that I've been playing the steel-pan (drum) for 18 years (that might make them smile a bit more)…and maybe I'll wear a shirt that allows me easy access of buttons for an extra peek-a-boo of needed cleavage. Who knows!? [Haha] I'm just grateful for the experience and the advice he had to give me, the most important being that I should forget all the negativity around me and never give up on my dream, just keep at it and it'll eventually payoff. J

Just What the Doctor Ordered

A famous phrase in both Trinidad & Tobago and the UK, "Just what the doctor ordered"; we say it to express that whatever it is we're receiving is just what we need to feel better. That tall glass of water you guzzled was 'just what the doctor ordered' to quench your thirst from the unbearable heat. That visit from your old friend was 'just what the doctor ordered' to lift your spirits. That song that played on the radio was 'just what the doctor ordered' to inspire you to work harder on that project. 'Just what the Doctor Ordered'.

Well, lemme' tell you, just because the doctor orders it doesn't mean that it's always easier. Most medicines as we know don't taste good. In fact, in life the things that seem the most bitter are what is healthier for our bodies. I remember my castor oil and aloe intake days….ugh! The utter repulsion just the thought of it; but it's what my parents gave me that kept me in pretty good health.

I find also in life that perhaps the Universe/God is the doctor, giving us what's best for us even though we don't think it's very good for us, because it hurts or because we are slowed down. When it rains, it pours…good and bad. I happen to be trying to keep dry and un-drenched by my 'series of unfortunate events'. And it's raining down hard right now. Being independent as I am and for such a long time too I try my best to cross my t's and dot my I's, and so what if I put hearts above them…it looks much better on paper anyway! J

Nevertheless sometimes even if you do what's right, there seems to be a lightning bolt in the sky following you, but you can't run forever, you have to deal with it, and get zapped. It's only till you get zapped will you then be able to walk instead of run, and in such beautiful and brilliant sunshine. So I'm being zapped right now; that lightning bolt is zapping the hell out of me! I had the privilege of learning yet another time that you must let things be, and just let go. Why did I want to carry those burdens on my shoulders anyway?

We cannot control some things; like the weather, love, of someone crashing into your car, or those damned lawn-mower men who have to cut grass outside your window every day at 7am on your days off. Listen to your friends and family that say, "Shake it off!"… "Snap out of it!" Focus on the things that are working well in your life. It might not be much; but try to list the things you are happy about. Perhaps it's that your dog that annoyingly licks you non-stop showing how much he loves you. Or maybe it's the fact that you jumped out of bed today with no aches and pains and in good health. Or possibly that you're having a fine 'hair' day today! Whatever it is, focus on it and be grateful…And try not to let others change your mood. You are doing the best you can with what you have right now; you are where you're supposed to be in this moment of time. Life is not a race and you are embarking upon your journey, don't let people put pressure on you by what their standards are; everything is good, you are free to be who you are and to be happy doing what you think is best for you!

I'm not out of the woods yet; but after my conversation with my creator I understand that all these things are happening to teach me to trust him more; as well as deal with things as I see fit. I am doing the right things at the right time…and anyone who thinks otherwise is entitled to their opinion but I'm doing what's best for me!

I just laugh…I laugh out loud at what's going on right now; I am not out of the woods but I laugh at my problems…what else can I do? Without laughing at the absurdity of it all, I may as well go insane, and I certainly don't want to go to the 'Looney' house! So if you're just a filly like me hoping to regain some familiarity of the good times and maybe with an added bonus of some lolly then just trust the Universe that everything will be okay, and that this nasty medicine is in fact going to make you all better. Help you get stronger, help you see the truth, help you focus more on the right path to follow.

And as they say, laughter really is the best medicine….it's 'just what the doctor ordered' for me! J

Happy Birthday!

It feels good to smile even though I have to walk....
It feels good to smile even though I have to take the bus...
It feels good to smile even though I have no car...for somehow I am still grateful...for life! :)

Here's to wishing you doux-doux a beautiful Birthday -- from a distance!
Felicitaciones de grande 3 -0! Congratulations on the big 3 - 0! No more twenty-something!


Hope your day is lovely and well spent...September 16th 2010.
Thank you for being a part of my life...


If I could sing...I would sing this song for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH-C7jP5hOs


Blessings Trini style ;) xx

The Answer will Come

Do the right thing, do the right thing. Treat people with love and respect, roll with the punches, and if someone punches you, smile and show them the other cheek. Good things come to those who wait; patience is virtue and virtue is grace. We've all heard these things before. We know that even when things are overwhelming and terribly daunting that we will get over the obstacle at some point, at least eventually. We just sometimes wonder, why? Why if I did all the right things; then why is it that I must suffer so? Don't worry, the answer will come. Everything happens for a reason and usually for a good reason; to assist you or make you stronger for the future. Great men and may I plug in also 'great women' have often times gone through the unthinkable before obtaining success.

Therefore don't let the problem you face overwhelm you, keep positive and joyful and know that good things will happen again soon. Keep goals in your mind of what you want to create or re-create; of what you desire and keep strong with faith/believe or prayer that whatever obstacle you are up against, that you're going to keep standing. The Big Bad Wolf could huff and puff as much as he wants, but you've got a heart made of bricks [ha-ha]; and you've also got God/Universe standing in front of you to keep you strong. So what if people you loved turned blind eyes to you and the car you just paid off for cannot run! Be a warrior for peace and love and understanding and don't question just surrender and know that you're in store for some lovely blessings in the future. The Universe guarantees it! J

Save the Humans

I saw this phrase one day as I greeted a man that came onto my aircraft one day; he wore it proudly on his shirt, but it was hard to tell if he even knew what it really meant. I thought about it more and then it really resonated with me, and it made perfect sense. We always see signs saying 'Save the Whales' or 'Save the Forests' but we in fact needed to save ourselves. Why be so selfish, some would say? Humans only destroy the beauty around them. Yes, tis true; they are such a destructive and sordid type of race, to love in one breath and curse it tomorrow. It truly is quite sad; but we are sick; sick in the mind, sick in the head, brainwashed to believe that something is 'cool' or that something is 'weird'. We are constantly fighting our egotistic human traits that carry steady worry about what people think of us or how we match up in society; when the reality is that none of this really matters. We need to love one another and treat each other right; we need to say how we feel and be okay with saying it, we need to realize that without relationships that are meaningful then our life has smaller purpose. You see; it is all about sharing, we are here to share experiences, and wisdom and most of all love.

And so now here we are on the topic of sharing. Something we do so much about many trivial and unimportant things; like what we bought at the mall, or how hot the weather is, or why you don't like sushi. I'm not speaking about this sort of incessant chatter; but speak about a more vital type of sharing, about things that inspire or touch individuals' lives. Everything you do; everything you say is inspiration to somebody else. People are watching you, whether you are aware of it or not. Therefore if you decide to not carry on with your life or simply fail to continue it with light and love, you are in turn affecting another's life. We are all connected…rivers into the sea, fingers on a hand, ripples on a curtain…one love, on bread, one body. Therefore each deed in turn creates positive and negative responses.

I had been depressed lately. Yes, here it is; I'll finally admit it; and I never like to show my weakness, but after learning that it's okay to cry in public and on stage/set; I know also that it is okay to admit that I had fallen and become lost for a while. After the 1^st week, I'd convinced the one I loved that I was fine and dandy, but I lied; it was only me suffering early signs of withdrawal. On the 2^nd week I'd lied and told my parents that I was happy again, when I still cried every other day. By the 3^rd week, I smiled bravely amongst friends, although I could still feel the aching in my heart, and by the 4^th week, still suffering from inner dread, I got myself into a nasty car accident. I can safely say 3 days now after this incident I am truly smiling and myself again; because I was able to put things in perspective and shake things off thankfully without temporary alleviations like wine/drugs. With a now tattered car, similar to the insides of my heart, my body came out pretty good and protected. It took me 4 weeks to go from one side of the 'bonker' spectrum to the other and I do reckon Mahatma Gandhi was right; suffering does bring you to greatness!

After this emotional nightmare I have realized that we don't own anything. We are given a body, and breath and tools to survive, and we don't have control over many things. We are only to hold on with good graces and excel with what is given to us. When we are grateful and aware of the world's abundance and exquisiteness and we give love with our fellow man we are rewarded with numerous gifts. But I have realized also that we are rewarded only when the time is right; not before or after. Most times in life it seems like scores of bad things happen to good people; but the universe doesn't give you anything you cannot handle. They are only tests to make you stronger for your future enormity. So when you do good; and you put all your heart into it, don't worry, everyone is smiling. The angels are rejoicing, the nature spirits are dancing, and the universe is merry because you are doing so very well.

So back to the point that we don't own anything; we don't own anything but how we react and deal with situations in life. It may not be fair; it may not be conceivable the things you feel that you have to go through. For somebody you fancy to turn from Dr. Jekyll, charming, alluring, loving, and trustworthy to Mr. Hyde, in the matter of a disagreement on a situation, they turned to someone that is cold, uncaring, and astonishingly different from anything you could have ever fathomed. To not being there for you when you were stranded in the streets of a lonely and unfamiliar place. To not even call to see how badly you were bleeding or to hear a person's voice to see if they needed comforting. To suddenly being too busy in a day, with no bathroom breaks or lunch breaks to say, "How are you?", "I miss you." Or "I still think of you, but I'm sorry things had to end like this…" Absolutely nothing; it makes you feel as though you had not a positive impact on that person's life in the least; that everything experienced with them was only a façade. For you know that no matter what you were doing or where you were going you would be there for that person, at the drop of a hat, to make sure they were okay, as a friend, or a lover, because you truly cared that much…

Some of you will say; well it 'ain't' that easy. And you'd be right, but nothing good comes easy, now does it? It's an ongoing struggle to remind ourselves of how grateful we should be, of how we should treat others, of how we should seek the truth, of how we should redeem ourselves and forgive ourselves to become better people. Of how we should know that we deserve better and not confuse or pretend or settle in life; of how anything is possible with only a mustard seed of faith.

For the impossible becomes possible; and you can heal your life and finally…really…smile again…J So yes, let's please 'Save the Humans', for if we nurture ourselves, we can spread positivity to heal our dying planet too.

Live for this moment; the past is the past; and it is what it is; live for the now; you have people that can help you; friends that really care; help yourself; you can get out of this. Shake it off; Life is too short! Human emotions are intense; but save yourself before it's too late, enjoy the simple pleasures… J

Hang in There

I was always a late bloomer; I mean what did you expect from a girl born in paradise, enveloped in lush rainforest and perfect weather. I was lucky, really; and although I was not ridden of problems, I was doing pretty alright for myself if I decided to just stay there. On that little island, wading my feet in the lucid sea; twisting a lime over lobster for supper and maybe opening up a 'sun-tan (natural vitamin D) saloon'. For some reason; I yearned to see more and to learn more; I learned about pain, loneliness, humility and sorrow, about heart-ache and lies and greed too. I learnt it alright; and sometimes I think I could have done without all this tainting, but I know it makes me even more powerful for the greatness I one day will attain.

So the roller-coaster of life goes, UP and then DOWN again; and I hold on with tightly closed eyes, latching on for dear life, and Bonnie Hunt says, "Hang in there…" [haha]. Well; not really, but she did say it in the film 'Jerry Maguire'. Yes; can you believe it! I have only now recently seen this film and I know it is not the most recent of films. On a layover in London recently I had the pleasure of settling in to this film I've heard so much about but never seen. I believe things come to you when you are ready for it and it won't come a day earlier or a day late, but right on time!

I'd never been an enormous fan of Tom Cruise; for a number of different reasons, but one should remember that 'nadie es perfecto' – nobody's perfect and if the 'Mission Impossible' theme song didn't have me rooting for his character, then this film surely would be it. How charming he was; how much I loved his character. My goodness! He went through so much turmoil it was almost insane the feats he had to withstand, but he 'hung in there' and he came out on top! Of course! A happy ending! How I love those! J

I loved the way he would tell me to wear sun block if it was a scorcher, or wear a jacket when it was cold. I loved the way he would make annoying popping sounds, like 'Donkey' from 'Shrek' with his mouth, but somehow it made me smile so. I loved the way he leaned to the side when he drove his snazzy sports vehicle. I loved the way he fell asleep and I would let the rose petals tickle his relaxed face. I love how we would laugh at the silliest things like 'Store Owner' and that I'd light a candle that smelt like him anytime I wanted him close…Sigh***

Oh! Wait! Wrong story, different time and certainly not Tom Cruise! J Now where were we? Ah yes - Bonnie Hunt; yes! I was lucky to have her on one of my flights about a month or two ago. I've had many celebrities on flights, many of whom I knew little about, many of whom I didn't fancy, many of whom were demanding and spoilt, many of whom changed people's lives forever with simply a song or a good film. Bonnie for me was joy! She and her traveling buddy laughed the entire flight. She was courteous and sweet, and even though she pushed the flight attendant button a little too much for our liking, we didn't hesitate to make her comfortable. I know Bonnie has her own talk show now, but little did I know she was the big sister character of Renee' Zhellwegger in the film 'Jerry Maguire'. I admired her character a great deal because although she seemed hard-hitting, she was really a delicate flower who only wanted the best for her younger sister. She loved her so much; but knew she had to let her go if she were to have any chance at resolving issues that were still very much a gaping wound in her heart.

"You had me at Hello!" Wow; now I finally know where that tired phrase came from. It's funny how some movies completely revolutionize an entire century or time. Like 'Thelma and Louise' or 'Rocky' or one of my favourites, "Hello Johnny!" said by Jack Nicholson, one of my favourite American Hollywood actors. This is why I love film! The writers, directors, actors and even lighting, grip, and sound people all collaborate and work together to create something so influential, so astonishing, so inspiring, that it evokes not only hundreds of emotions but also positive change within the world. I think this film certainly spoke of the heart and to the heart. Each character was wishing and hoping and aspiring to achieve greatness. Whether it was becoming the star player of the NFL; or obtaining true love, or having wealth to provide for his family, or proving how much you loved BLACK PEOPLE! [haha]; everyone that wished for something got it in the end because they used their heart, they didn't give up and they realized who was really their true friends.

I loved the line…"Jerry, why did you get married huh?"

And Jerry replied, "Because of loyalty…she was always there for me…"

And even though that was a good enough answer, I loved that he found out why he really loved her, why she was really loyal, and why they really worked. She believed in him, she stood by him, she loved him with all of her heart, she was there for him when his girlfriend bashed in his face; literally, and she took the risk at beginning something with him, although she knew it would be dangerous because she felt as though she didn't want to miss out on the most beautiful man who inspired her from the beginning.

Kudos to Jerry Maguire & Kudos to Tom Cruise! J

Every Bread have a Cheese

This is a saying from Trinidad & Tobago which means simply; that 'no matter how unattractive one is, there is someone, somewhere who will find that one beautiful. There is a matching partner for everyone, no matter how weird'. Seriously, I see it every day on the aircraft at work, couples happy and in love and together, squeezing hands through the turbulence. What a lovely sandwich eh? J

Sometimes in life we let our thoughts get the best of us; we suffer and succumb to that inner turmoil; of wondering and pondering on why, what, how come and when. We have no peace of mind and our emotions bring us down to zero. We feel hopeless and sad and as though what is the use of this life without that one thing that brought us added joy. Unfortunately most times, it is the thing that great prophets tell us to do the most; to simply, just love one another. But there are many different types of love. There is the love of our country, parents and children, of friends, of co-workers or classmates, and then there is the BIG one; of lovers, of boyfriend and girlfriend, or husband and wife, or boyfriend and boyfriend and wife and wife…these types of relationships with love tend to be a bit trickier.

I find even forgiving and having compassion for an enemy easier at times, than totally putting your heart on the line to love another who may accept it now and trash it later. The love I am speaking of is one that is forever, one that is true, and one that is unconditional, like a friendship on ecstasy! I marvel at my dear friends who put up with my reminiscing and constant re-visiting of something I have no control over whatsoever. How frustrating it is to know that even after giving your all, you lose grasp of something you were so sure was going to blossom into a future of great magnitude.

One must remember that it is important to be the master of your thoughts; without this practice we may continuously make our lives, literally, a living hell. The late and great John Lennon sang, 'Let it Be' and the infamous Bob Marley sang of three little birds that visited his window sill singing, "Don't Worry About a Thing!" As strong as I think I am, I am still on a journey of growth and healing and I find prayer and meditation quite useful in giving me the calm and positive vibe I need. I sometimes sit with a question, or most times as life is quite a ride, a pleading of sorts. I asked recently, "What do you want from me!?" And sure enough the answer came, "I want you to trust me!"

I didn't identify completely with this before, but after doing more reading, prayer, and meditation, it became much clearer on what it is my lesson was about. Countless times I have witnessed miracles, and I am aware of its magnificence, and promised myself at those moments that I shouldn't have doubt or negative thoughts again, because of this bizarre brilliance known to us by the name 'Miracle'. However, as brisk and immense as it came, as quick did I forget and begin brooding again. I realized that Trust meant that I should trust that everything would be alright. How many times have we worried and paced and stressed over situations and in the end everything turned out for the best?

The Universe/Supreme Being/God wanted me to not only trust myself, my opinions and my greatness, but to know that whatever I was going through was only a small hurdle in the much, much bigger scheme of things/life, that whatever I was going through was only a test and certainly not the final. We need to surrender more and let go of things which we ultimately have little control over. Meditation helps us still the mind and in this purification process, truth and trust are revealed to us, time and time again, we must trust, and do so with grace. There is more to this journey than we are even aware of, and when we have trust we eliminate all doubt and anxiety. When we trust, surrender and let go, then we finally begin to know…the truth.

It is easier said than done though, we all know this; the ego is so strong in most of us; our humanistic and petty behaviours take control usually and put us in a definite slump. But we have to shake it off; we have to keep positive, we have to let go.

My grandmother often says: "Bless everything!" & "Do your best and let God do the rest!" and how right she is in what she says. Once you do the right thing with a good heart, then you have nothing to worry about. Don't look for rewards; they will come but when the time is right. Sometimes in life, the timing is not right, but after people go through further lessons, jump through hurdles or close chapters to books, then they are able to see things differently. They surrender and let go of things and see things in a whole different perspective that they were blind to before. Sometimes people need to get into unhealthy situations to redeem themselves and heal their lives. We are all on different levels, learning, and moving towards hopefully a better us! J

I cannot melt my cheese, or burn my bread, because when you have such a special sandwich and you know it and feel it and get a small but splendid taste of it, you know it's your favourite sandwich no matter what other baguettes, scones or burritos one tosses your way. So you place your bread and cheese in the fridge and you wait. Don't get me wrong; you shouldn't just sit there waiting and hoping that your bread or cheese will wise-up, but you put it in there, knowing that you'll resolve or have it before its expiration date. In the mean time, you could travel down to the supermarket, or the local shop, and try other delicacies that vendors may offer you. When you let go/surrender/trust that everything will be alright, so many doors open for you; beautiful, exotic, friendly and tasty doors that invite you into a whole new world of flavor.

Remember, you cannot force anything in life, sometimes when you try too hard, you end up just getting a nervous breakdown; and you also cannot force somebody to love you. Would you want them, if they still had unresolved issues that they preferred to deal with anyway? Maybe one day the timing will be right and you'll get what you've been trying so hard to attain, or maybe one day that person you adore will realize how untainted your thoughtfulness and kindness and devotion was; that all you truly wanted was to love and be loved. Surround yourself with what you love, learn new songs on your steel-pan (drum), finish taking those French language lessons, buy the new SIMS game for your computer, tighten those scripts that you soon will be able to produce, master those belly-dance moves, or take that trip you've always wanted to Turkey, Cuba, Chile or Egypt! J

I finally am learning to trust…not by taking sweets from strangers – [haha] (although I do quite enjoy white and milk chocolate); but trusting in my higher-self, my Creator, and in the Universe that I am a child of purity, light and beauty and I deserve someone that can identify, share and grow in that radiance with me. I am not saying I still don't yearn to have my bread and cheese with a lovely glass of wine, but we must try this 'trust' thing, because we never know how many people are falling in love with our spirits and our smiles! J

Remember, happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in stranger's gardens. – Douglas Jerrold