Gravity

There was so much hype behind this movie, not to mention the amount of accolades, recognition, nominations and awards that it was high on my list of Oscar winning movies to see. Written and Directed by Mexican Alfonso Cuaron and starring Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, this 2013 Drama/Sci-Fi/Thriller had me captivated for a lot shorter than I’d have liked.

With a budget of an estimated $100 million USD, with production contracts with Warner Bros. and a run-time of 91 minutes, lets just say ‘Houston had no problem’ with bringing in a cool $270 million USD at the box-office a few months later.

I must admit there were many beautiful cinematic moments throughout, and I am certain the writer, director, 2 actors and voice actors put in a lot of work to make this story semi-believable; however I must also tell the truth that this same story was not compelling enough to hold my attention or wonder when it was going to end. It wasn’t my cup of tea, but proved to be exhilarating for many. 

The main message of the film though was priceless; teaching our audience that the world is a lot bigger than we perceive and that we are not in control of everything. There’s something a lot bigger than all of us and we got to learn to let go.

I’ll leave you with some quotes from the film:

“Houston, I have a bad feeling about this mission.”

“Half of North America just lost their Facebook.”

“I get it. It’s nice up here. You can just shut down all the systems, turn out all the lights, and just close your eyes and tune out everyone. There’s nobody up here that can hurt you. It’s safe. I mean, what’s the point of going on? What’s the point of living? Your kid died. Doesn’t get any rougher than that. But still, it’s a matter of what you do now. If you decide to go, then you gotta just get on with it. Sit back, enjoy the ride. You gotta plant both your feet on the ground and start liven’ life. Hey, Ryan? It’s time to go home.”

Letting Go

Isn't it funny how some people come into your life with such extraordinary force that it knocks the breath out of you, tickles you upside down and floods your psyche? Isn't it funny also, how when they're done getting what they need, helping themselves to heaps of your energy, they seem to just disappear without even saying good-bye? They claim they're just busy, busy with life, busy with things working perfectly again, busy with moving one up, super Mario style. It makes you wonder if they were your real friends at all.

Any time you feel that you are unappreciated or that you always have to make that phone-call or you seem to be always the one reaching out; then it is quite obvious it is a one-sided relationship. You deserve better… you deserve people that care about you, that recognize your value and worth, that simply value your being.

Forgive them for treating you like this…most times they themselves aren't aware of their juvenile actions. Most times they are still on a path of only satisfying themselves, people that are self-absorbed and not humble. Have compassion for these people; be grateful that you were able to make a positive impact on their lives. Let them go; because they've clearly let you go.

Forgive yourself now; you did the right thing. You shared your thoughts, your life, and your positivity, you shared your world to benefit that person. You were a gem, as lovely as the moon glistens on midnight water. You did nothing wrong… Let go.

Perhaps they will realize one day… or perhaps they won't…but at least you did the right thing… J Maybe one day you'll be rewarded a 'happy-ending' too. I got a wonderful compliment from a new friend I'd made recently, sharing stories on the aircraft on my way to Los Angeles. He said to me: "You deserve somebody who deserves you ... and if they can't see it, then it's their loss... the guy you marry will never get bored!" :) Thank-you Yannick!

Dreams on Fire...

Having to drink a shot of vodka just to get some 'shut-eye' is far from funny. Not having an appetite and then whenever you manage to eat you feel nauseous is a bit worse. But feeling teed off when every other person that walks by is pregnant or part of a happy family of three holding hands; that's when you know you've got problems. Why couldn't I be that happy couple? Why couldn't that unborn child be in my stomach? Why couldn't the one I love, love me the same way he longed and yearned for her?

It's not fair!

It really isn't…true it's good to have forgiveness and compassion and to walk the right path. But can one forgive someone who betrayed their trust? How can one still love someone even though it was quite obvious that they didn't love you the same? I suppose only that person would have answers to those sort of questions.

Sometimes it seems that you're living in a nightmare; but just your nightmare; your torment; your hurt. Because for everyone else, life is just 'peachy'! You begin to wonder if perhaps you're cursed, if you've racked up a full life-time (this one) of bad karma, if you'd be doomed to become a lonely cat lady even though you didn't fancy cats. Couldn't you get a little break? Oh, wait, you did have a break…the 7 months of being giggly silly in love, being there for that person no matter what was going on in your life, every morning a lovely memory of what you'd talked about or did the day before. That was your break. 7 months of pure bliss. Now it was back to harsh reality; back to your punishment; back to being single and having to hear all your friends say, "Don't worry, you'll meet someone new!" or "He's just a jerk, forget him, move on with your life!" Hah! Little do they know of the utter joy you had in this short space of time. Little do they know that he was the best thing that happened to you? Because sure it's nice to spend time with your girlfriends, but they didn't have broad shoulders and hugs that made you melt. Or opened doors like your very own modern-day gentleman, or cook for you, and tell you stories of his youth. Or call you doux-doux or sunshine and never once disrespect you…

I know they mean well. I know that everyone means well. But the truth is that every waking moment (especially since you can't sleep) you think about that person, and if it's only good times, then that's all you're going to remember. The truth is that 'every' damn slow song that plays on the radio makes you tremble with tears, and the upbeat happy ones make you livid. The truth is that you're going to feel like dying every morning you wake up (5 minutes of rest) until one morning you realize that it is what it is, and you have no control over the situation. Then you accept it and slowly your heart heals; and you'd be so tired crying and feeling nauseated that you finally realize you need to sleep….

And people say you have a lesson to learn; and some people say you did nothing wrong and it's not your fault. And I think each instance is different. I think that sometimes you have nothing to learn, because loving somebody could never be a bad thing. That you sadly stumbled into this beauty quickly turned into hell because YOU had a lesson/s to teach THEM. And that you cannot force somebody to love you; you can pretend but if they don't love you, they'll 'mess up' or go away and leave you without closure. Or maybe you'd think of what I'd have been like to be gay; they didn't have such problems as bringing life into the world. Or maybe becoming a monk or nun; if nobody loves me at least my imaginary God will and I can lose myself in prayer and chores and wear long robes to ensure no human could bring me pain. Hmmm…maybe not such a bad idea; although being a cat lady might be the best fit because you could wear shorts on hot days and still have loads of cats give you love. You and the cat hair would be inseparable. Un-conditional love….Hmmm….

Really…life is up and down and down and up. Like a see-saw or swings in a child's playground. So you go UPPPPP… and you have a view of the clouds and the sky, and trees in the distance and you go DOWNNNNN…and you lose all that sense of euphoria and beautiful view, but children don't worry because they know that they'll be up again in no time. I think we have to look at life like this too. When you're down in the dumps and you feel worthless and disappointed and used and hurt and unattractive like you're 'just a friend'; believe it or not you will get up again.

With every disappointment it is really a blessing in disguise…you must believe that. We cannot see why this is happening right now; who knows what the future holds (hmmm…sounds all too familiar), we do not know what it holds, if you are due for an up, you can bet it's something really good! Because you are beautiful, wise, intelligent, and if you continue to do good, you will be rewarded for it….the universe guarantees it J Let go; and take care of yourself…it's time to heal. Now it's your time…just let it be…

If only the breeze could kiss me

Trees green as your eyes are

The river enveloping me like your hugs

If only the fragrance of the grass smelt like you

A taste so sumptuous

A love so pure

Of friendship

Of trust

Of sharing

Then if I had all these things I wouldn't miss you…

I could live happily

Walking the earth

Hugging the trees

Drinking from the river

Not caring if the breeze chapped my lips

Because then I could live knowing you'd always be a part of me

As much as it mars me…I trust you universe, to always love me….

Now

And forever

And I thank-you for loving me…

For without your love, I may as well be a character in a story that would never be written…

I put my trust in you – despite my gaping and bloodied wound.

– you are the magic; you are the prayer I'm saying…Dreams on Fire.

By: Jair Ananda Massiah