Sunday, April 29, 2012

Die with my Dignity

**So true. Women times may be hard, and even harder for the world to take us seriously, but NEVER degrade yourself, be disrespected or un-appreciated in the name of getting somewhere. WORK for it; it will be yours and you’ll be able to say you did it THE RIGHT WAY! Don’t stop being a lady and compromise what you believe in, you might as well let them keep their money, and you keep your honey and die with your dignity!

 I will forever love these lyrics by the mighty ‘Singing Sandra’ of Trinidad & Tobago!!! J


“You want to help to mind your family, you want to help your man financially
But nowadays it really very hard to get a job as a girl in Trinidad
You looking out to find something to do, you meet a boss man who promise to help you
But when the man let down the condition, is nothing else but humiliation,
They want to see your whole anatomy, they want to see what the doctor never see,
They want to do what your husband never do, still you ain’t know if these scamps will hire you.

Well if it’s all this humiliation to get a job these days as a woman.
Brother they could keep their money, I go keep my honey, and die with my dignity!!

Some of them done park up already, yet they sit down waiting like mapipi
Using the power of the kazan position, waiting to abuse and exploit any woman
To get to work you have to go to bed with he, become a slave, he second wife and deputy
And as a next woman get on the line, he start to tell you ain’t good, you can’t wine
They want to see you in some fancy fancy pose, they want to see how you look without your clothes
They want you cock up like a bloody acrobat, the wife at home they can’t ask she to do that,

So before I have to lick down somebody and cuss them so that police come for me
I tell them they could keep their money, I go keep my honey, and die with my dignity!!

Looking for work you might bounce up a fellow, who might be looking quite handsome and macho,
You tell yourself you want to work with he, so you decide you go try a radchafee
But when you done its then you get to know, he wife leave he and gone long time ago
With all the cash he has he is a failure, the man is nothing but a blinking soucoyant,
They want to feel up your navel and your breast, they want to see if you have lota on your chest,
The things he want to do you with his hand, like if they searching to find the promise land.

I am a woman who don’t make any skylark, before I slap them and they die of a heart-attack,
Tell them they could keep their money, I go keep my honey, and die with my dignity!!

It have a lot of woman just like me, who might not too well off financially,
You need a job and you really need it bad, a man decide to help you, you must be glad,
But if you value yourself as a woman, you will be demanding respect from the vagabond,
Stand up to them and let them know the truth, is work you want you are no blinking prostitute
You have a mole on your back they want to see, they want to see if you have marks on your belly,
They want to know how much man you had before, and if you are strong enough to take anymore,

I have my pride and I have my ambition, I want to hold up my head up high as a woman,

So brother, they could keep their money, I go keep my honey and die with my dignity!!"

Friday, April 27, 2012

Keep Smiling, Keep Shining

** And when you feel as if you’ve given 100% and it still doesn’t work – let go – surrender – and let the Universe do it’s magic. Nothing is impossible with him – his dream always supersedes your own. Count the things you’re grateful for & keep the memories alive. All is well J

Thursday, April 26, 2012


I’ve wanted to write about this topic for quite some time now; why? Well, its somehow been coming up a lot lately, with friends who are marrying, married, divorced, newly in a relationship, problems in relationships etc. It’s a road we all must walk down at some point and the way we choose to handle it is what this blog is about.

We all have our fun single days when we’re free to go and come as we please, when we think for ourselves and do whatever it is that keeps our hearts happy. When we become a couple, we begin to realize that it isn’t about just ourselves anymore but now we must shift gears and think of the other person also. Must there be a complete change in who we are or ultimatums to keep a relationship in tack? Or could we carry-on as we did before?

I know some situations personally where friends who have gotten married or in new relationships completely disregard their old friends and lose contacts freely as they embark upon their new journey. Then I’ve also seen these same journeys come to a nasty halt and friends feeling alone as now they have none of their old friend’s to go to. I’ve heard time and time again men and women exclaim – “I’ve given up everything for you!” I ask, how can ‘anyone’ truly respect you, if you don’t love and respect yourself? Why on earth would you give up ‘everything’ meaning friends and who you are as a person to please someone else? Isn’t that what attracted them to you in the first place?

Relationships should be based on trust, and if there is open communication and discussions about things then the partner should feel at ease. It brings us back to trust. Sure one may become jealous at times, but must we then give up all of our friends of the opposite sex when beginning a new relationship? Can’t we have general conversations without sexual intentions or outcomes of cheating? Now I’m not saying that we should be silly and stiff like a freshly drying garden-gnome and do nothing about something! But what are grounds exactly of that raised eye-brows ‘something’?

If your significant other/spouse doesn’t go about his/her usual “Okay babe, I miss you – I’ll talk to you later.”Or you hear your guy/girl saying they’re going to meet an old friend at the club at 2am. Or he/she got invited to a pool-party reunion and one of the ex’s will be there; I say raise more than eyebrows at this point! J But if your ‘babe’ happens to have a good friend of the opposite sex and they correspond from time-to-time and you trust your mate, then you should have nothing to fear.

It’s difficult not to carry baggage from one relationship to the other; it makes us who we are and all the more wiser to how we deal with situations in the future; but these experiences aren’t designed to create you into a bitter person that keeps constant tabs on your lover. We are bombarded with silly and un-realistic half-hour sitcoms, ‘blame it on the alcohol’ type music and horror stories from our own lives and friends, but everyone is not the same. And if you begin a relationship in fear, low self-esteem and insecurity, your thoughts will only terrorize your fears further.

I am, no Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, or Oprah, but I’d say learn to let go once in a while and give your spouse a little breathing room. And another thing; if you are secure in a solid and healthy relationship with your spouse/significant other, then there should be no need of him/her having to frequently ask advice or have the company from opposite sex friends. After-all great lovers begin from great friends! J

What are your thoughts?



Good Deeds

If Wesley Deeds played by Tyler Perry had the problem of being predictable; well maybe Tyler Perry should have also took heed to his character’s faults. This film was certainly not one of his better films and predictable to the max! When we look at Tyler Perry films we expect to laugh and learn a lesson. This film had many lessons, but half-way in turned into a Mills and Boon gag-fest. I would say that Perry aimed to be serious in this film; but couldn't be taken seriously as he came across as a clueless and banal character.

This 2012 film written and directed by Tyler Perry was jam-packed with many amazing and talented stars like dimpled and suave Gabrielle Union, up-beat and ever-brilliant Thandie Newton, dramatic and handsome Brian White, and Mrs. Huxtable, Physcilia Rashad but it lacked a believable story-line. There was a lot of drama and surprisingly ‘too-much’ romance; even for the un-curably romantics out there; as it just doesn’t make sense leaving on your lunch-break on a motorcycle and driving hours away without a care in the world or worrying about getting back on a test-drive; or that Mr. Deeds decides to take his janitor-girlfriend aka Cinderella first class with him to travel around the world; or perhaps it could simply be that his fiancé was absolutely calm about calling off the wedding and becoming his best friend. A cross between ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ and 'Cinderella'.

Not the biggest Tyler Perry fan; but I appreciate what he’s trying to do and the long road he took to get there. He’s had better movies; this one unfortunately wasn’t my cup of tea.

We Are Young

** FUN - don't wait to have it till you're old and grey... now is the time!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Crabs in a Barrel

True I am a Caribbean lady; but that doesn’t mean I know how to fend off crabs pinching and running towards me in action! And that’s exactly what happened 2 days ago as my parents and I discovered that one of the crabs our neighbour was so kind to bring for us made its way somehow OUT of the barrel. A wonderful and tasty dish in Trinidad & Tobago is called: ‘Crab and Callaloo’; and in order to have the crab in the callaloo; well, you’ve got to have some crabs in the mix!

For those who don’t know, crabs can actually crawl and stand on other crab’s backs to make their way to the top and ultimately out of the barrel. Just as crabs do this, it is said that humans tend to have this trait also. They use others to get to the top and then they forget their brothers and sisters who helped them to get there; once they’ve gotten to their destination, they never even look back! We don’t help, encourage or stimulate others that wish also to get to the top of that barrel. Why is this? Why are we set on disallowing others to enjoy and see what it is we also see?

We see this dilemma over and over again; why must we accept what the masses do for the norm, when we know it doesn’t feel right? Have we no conscience at all?! Will we not stand for the truth and uplift our own! Would you rather rise above your people and watch them wither away and die, unable to grasp the vast secrets and blessings of the Universe?

Now that brings me to another golden issue hidden within the ‘crabs in the barrel’. When this ‘crab’ finally does make it; sometimes the other crabs speak harshly about the one crab’s success. They claw at it and try to bring it back down; unable to understand why the crab sacrificed to make positive changes, not only for him/her but for all. In Trinidad & Tobago as well as other Caribbean islands – I can safely say that we certainly have a growing ‘brain-drain’ quandary; as more and more young people are exploring tertiary-level education elsewhere and after graduating, begin securing good quality jobs in their field. Staying seems more pleasing, as they are given benefits they can’t refuse and they enjoy conveniences and appreciation they may not rapidly receive at home.

Yes, I should not have run in the other direction when the crab stood in his gangster  pose with his claws in the air; but just because I may be afraid of a gangster crab doesn’t mean I’ve lost my Caribbean roots/heritage. Tis’ true, many are not given the privilege to study or visit neighbouring countries; but the positive things we learn overseas, we should bring back to harvest and nurture our peers and young countries. Work ethic, higher self-esteem, team-work are virtues we all can pass along. The only way we can pass this along though is to celebrate in victory and to show appreciation and love, to accomplishment, but also in allowing others to grow with you! J

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Descendants

I’d heard many of my flight mates speak about George Clooney in ‘The Descendants’ and I’d seen interviews with Shailene Woodley, this all enticed me to see it more but I hadn’t the opportunity to do so before the Oscars. Would I prefer ‘The Artist’ to ‘The Descendants’ after seeing George Clooney’s performance? I would say I rather enjoyed it and it’s substance was quite heart-wrenching and real; but I do also always love a real good love story. It was the first time I’d seen this type of acting from George and he was very good in this story.

Written and Directed by Alexander Payne; this 2011 film was a simply filmed yet held hefty weight in situational proportions. No fancy camera angles or snazzy lighting. In some respects the delayed reactions by some of the actors and black transitions were almost laughable but the acting expressed by the main characters were phenomenal!

A wonderful lesson in forgiveness, bravery and courage to do what you know is right. I still vote for ‘The Artist’; but I absolutely loved how this film was true to life to show the truth of what Hawai’i is truly like – overridden with tourists and sky-rise buildings, but also show what it used to be like, and show the audience the beauty of what it used to be before it become over-populated. Showing a families journey also through misfortune and loss and how it brings them closer together also is great because it is a path we all must take one day too.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

One Night at McCool's

This 2001 flick starring Liv Tyler, Michael Douglas, Matt Dillon, John Goodman, Reba McEntire and Paul Reiser wasn’t a script written far out of the ordinary; but the acting, entertainment and laughter was something I didn’t automatically expect. Written by Stan Seidel and directed by Harald Zwart this comedy/action I would say kept me chuckling and excited throughout. Incredibly sexy ladies seducing men to get what they want as I mentioned before is pretty average but heavy action sequences and crime investigations quite an odd mix; still ‘One Night at McCools’ had the recipe for success!

From bartender, to lawyer to detective, Jewel played by Liv Tyler, played them all; she knew what they wanted and they were under her thrilling spell. She was anything but a jewel; and was out to get a house with a DVD and a Fountain; she didn’t care who or what she had to do or dispose of to get it!

A light, yet absurdly enjoyable story it shows the audience the dangers of becoming duped in love and also the lengths other’s would do to achieve the material things they want. The series of events I wouldn’t wish on anyone; but it was all quite funny to see it play out. It’s interesting also to see how one story could be told in so many different ways; reminding us that there is always 2 sides to a story and things are never as they appear to be.

Who Will Find Me?

Don't Trip

I remember how annoyed I got the first time someone said this phrase to me; ‘Don’t trip!’ It is an American slang-phrase which means, “Take it easy/Don’t stress”; and is used in sentences like, “You’re tripping…” or “Don’t be tripping…” Not my first choice of words to use but amusing and poignant nonetheless.

In life, we must realize that we never have any problems, only life situations; and once we become aware of this there is no need to jump to our deaths, but simply relax, take it for what it is and let the situation resolve itself. Now, when I say let the situation resolve itself, I do not mean, have a little seat in your squeaky rocking-chair and knit scarves while your house is on fire! J But instead, breathing, then deciding what steps you can take to regain peace, and once you’ve done your best, letting go and allowing the Universe/God to step in and solidify and shift things about to how it needs to be.

Once you give 100% in life; then you’ve done your job; there is nothing to ‘trip’ about or become anxious about because what you do and put out in life is never in vain. With your supreme being and creator in the mix, nothing you do would be in vain; you constantly keep attracting positive things in your life. If you put in the work and you do it in joyous passion; with joy because you know you’ve got a compassionate father that’s always got your back – then it is impossible that things won’t go your way.

Healing, resolutions and positive shifts in our lives cannot come about if we do not believe in the unconditional healing and love that is obligated to us. Working on shifting our attitudes to gratitude, compassion and love, brings with it, understanding and blessings for what our hearts desire. There is no room for doubt, no room for falling in trust, but simply being whisked away to peace, joy, comfort and love. A journey that leads to brightness, one that even if we begin in the dark; there are no obstacles creating un-necessary anxiety or tripping of our tender hearts.

Be at peace darlings; the best is yet to come… J

Father Time

It occurred to me while packing up my belongings to move yet another time in my life; how quickly time flies by. Old photos, autographs from friend’s who’ve already passed on, cards wishing me well, and memories…memories of those who have touched my life and created such unique and splendid sparks that thinking of them bring smiles to my face and heart. Time waits on no man; and although you may feel the same, everything is constantly changing. Because of this, one must be able to grow and evolve with the planet; keep moving with the current of the ocean. Looking at where you were, and where you are now also gives perspective on how much we have grown or lack-there-of in our lives and it also puts us in a space of immense gratitude and wonder.

Life should not consist of arguments and regrets, but only of knowledge and lessons learnt. Each time people enter your life, remember it is always for a purpose. You may have a lesson to learn…in patience, in trust, in truth, or you may be teaching that person a lesson in life…in faith, in love, in compassion…whatever it may be take it for what it is and be amused at how perfect things unfold. Remember we do not see the biggest picture and sadly we have lost much memory; but when you are reminded of who you are, and the purpose of why you are here, we must practice compassion and good strive. For in life, you must forgive but never forget; for after all what would be the purpose of your lessons if you did not remember them. J

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Bon Voyage

Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love – now you are love – Osho saying.