Time to Elevate our Minds & Hearts

For the WorldCup 2018, now that all the African country teams have been eliminated. I’ve been inundated with memes, posts and articles of how the remaining teams are conveniently using players who have African heritage to win in the finals. These articles try to remind me of how great Africa is  as a continent, and to never forget what “some” of our forefathers went through as slaves brought over to work and settle in neighbouring 1st world lands. But this kind of talk and topic has been prevalent for quite some time before too. “Wakanda Forever”, “Black Heritage Month”, and the list goes on and on and on. 

I have no problem with others trying to empower others to be better. But I do have a problem with the same “black people” conveniently using their “blackness” when it suits them. Aren’t these same celebrities wearing, supporting and being paid by white-owned companies? If the African WorldCup teams were so good, then why aren’t they in the finals? It seems to me, that including players of “all” races makes a team stronger. Or perhaps, just good players and good coaching? I am not saying that slavery and hate crimes didn’t and don’t exist, but have you really took a look into our history books? Who exchanged slaves for money in Africa? And aren’t we full of several examples of hate in our history? From the Holocaust stories, right down to the gays and transgenders?

I am a black woman, married to a white man. And that shouldn’t matter. There are people who want to change, and are making the change. I’m tired of us pointing fingers, and speaking in the past, when we are all guilty of judging others and serving hate. It’s time we stop being part of the problem and work towards a solution and more importantly ‘healing’. As India Arie so aptly sang, “I am not the color of my skin…” We are so much more than  our hue, and country for that matter. And when we truly realize that, it will be when all colors of the human race, this homosapien species can finally live in Peace. 

I have experienced hate not only from white people, but people of all colors and believe it or not, from people who look just like me too! Why don’t we hear or speak about that? Shouldn’t that be the first issue that we should fix? Within our own races we try to separate and hurt each other. This topic makes me think of ‘vegans’ who still drive diesel vehicles and use Air Conditioning, and chastise someone who may not be able to afford or been educated to eat otherwise. Who are we to pick and choose what’s best for anyone? If we are so ‘Afro-centric’, shouldn’t we all move back to Africa? How about stop straightening our hair and bleaching our skin. The problem that we have lies much deeper than a mixed-race or predominantly black football European team. 

Being born and raised in the Caribbean, because of history, I automatically have many strains of race flowing through my veins, and living there I was lucky to be exposed to many people, cultures, religions and races. Yes, hate and racism exists there too. But I also learnt of inclusion, celebration and tolerance. I choose not to be a victim, I choose to focus on being resilient and lift up the values worth remembering. I think it’s something we should try to incorporate world-wide. This problem won’t be fixed overnight. I would be naive to think so; but I think it’s imperative we stop generalizing and supporting hate of all kinds, and be more loving and inclusive of everyone. 

Remember, our beliefs shape our reality and our aim in life should never be trying to make others feel guilty or break each other down, because of our history and our differences. Rather, we should be respecting and learning from our history, our experiences, and educating and encouraging positive change. Finding ways of healing to move forward in a hopefully one day, color-blind world. 

On How to Let Go

We’ve all been through our darkest days and because those days were so disappointing, so frightful and so disturbing we most times keep remnants within our beings or our hearts. We keep it there so that we ‘never forget’, the hurt, the injustice, or the pain. But my darlings, these memories are not meant to be kept forever. These memories not only poison us and cause dis-ease in our bodies; but they also harbor fear. Fear is something we as human-beings need to live without. Throughout my years it has been one of the most difficult  yet significant lessons to date - ‘Letting Go’. It’s much easier said than done; for as all of you know we carry baggage. That ‘baggage’ is again, experiences we’ve had in our past that for some reason we keep as reminders and protections if it were to occur again. 

This is understandable darlings.

Fear is a chain reaction in the brain which releases chemicals that cause the body to react in different ways; fast breathing, a racing heart, energized muscles among other things. The brain is an abstruse and mysterious organ but triggering these responses won’t help one overcome any stressful situation. That is why it is suggested for us to face our fears. Why do we have these fears in the first place? It is because we cannot let go of what happened to us.

This brings us to the age-old question how exactly can one ‘let go’? Well darlings, to let go we must ‘forgive’. Yes, forgive. Our enemies, our friends, our fathers, our mothers, our sisters, our brothers, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, husbands, wives, racists, chauvinists, those who are also in so much pain and unable to let go. Until we do that, we cannot truly be free from fear. Free from the power they hold over us. Once we release and forgive them from their horrible acts; only then will we truly let go and begin to flow again.

Keeping the flow is important because if we are unable to flow in time with the Universe; we will miss out on all the beautiful blessings, and surprises that we can attract into our lives. It’s imperative to keep in the flow if we want what’s best for us. Being strong in this manner we are then able to face our fears/demons when they arise again. We become spiritual warriors and will be able to slay all those who deem to bring us harm.

Sometimes it’s just a little love in your heart — is all you need to let go…

Bless-up!

Love Jair

Elevate Yourself

We live in times of needing to have extensive ‘self-validation’. Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I enough? Just little ole’ me? By myself? It’s a pity that we don’t realize the power and greatness sprinkled within our beings. Instead we are bombarded with ‘snap-shots’ of our daily lives; hoping we’d seem interesting or extraordinary to our peers. We seek not only validation but also if we are good enough. But really we are simply seeking love. 

Seeking love is a normal want of human-beings. 

Everyone wants to receive it. But must we blatantly keep reaching for “likes” or self-worth by our friends? My darlings, you are enough. And the world doesn’t need to deem you interesting, ambitious or fun. Your activities, your material gadgets and your flashy clothes does not make you a better person than anybody else or more interesting. In fact, constantly sharing in this manner becomes tiresome and ridiculous. Instead of being terribly self-aware, try to become self-less. 

Give less attention to yourself and more attention to others. Be of service. And you’ll begin to realize the fulfillment and joy you’ll feel. You won’t be focusing so much on ‘me-me-me’ but instead thinking of how you have helped someone along their path. Have you made someone smile today? Have you listened to the story that elderly person has told? Did you give your presence with the family this Sunday as opposed to being preoccupied with the beeps and alerts from your cell-phone? How was that? How did it feel to disconnect for a moment and connect to something much bigger? Could you feel the laughter, the tears, the excitement? 

That feeling darlings, is truly being present in the moment. It is living. It is growing. It is learning to truly become a better you! And you ARE loved! When we tap into nature, spend time being of service to others, or simply focus our time on things we love; we not only are useful and developing skill but also we begin to feel gratified. That self-gratification is what we were searching for all along. 

So ‘Elevate Yourself’ and remember your value and worth. We each have special talents or skills that once we tap into it we can blossom into our full potentials. Reaching our full potential of course takes time, but that journey is called life. The ups and downs prepare us all for the heightening and the adventure we have yet to experience!

Trust yourself. Practice humility. And break away from the dizzying norm of self-acceptance and know my dear friends, that you already are all you need to be at this moment in time. Look up and into the distance. 

Bless-up!

Love Jair

Mud

Written and Directed by the fairly new-on-the-scene Jeff Nichols, where you might not of heard of his movies but this 2012 film is the one that finally shot him on the ‘who’s-who’ film scene with 13 wins and 15 other nominations. This drama was slow-moving with a heap of interesting shots and lovely cinematography on location in Arkansas by the Mississippi river. Mathew McConaughey shines as ‘Mud’ but the two children ‘Ellis’ played by Tye Sheridan and ‘Neckbone’ played by Jacob Lofland are the ones that carried the film along beautifully. Reese Whitherspoon, Sam Shepard, and Ray McKinnon also portray great acting chops, but it’s Sarah Paulson that plays ‘Mary Lee’ that second’s best in performance for me.

Its a wonderful sort of hero-boy story like ‘Tom Sawyer’ or ‘Huckleberry Finn’ type stories where the boys make a discovery and try to make things better in secret. This film’s message is a powerful one, of identifying what real love is, and if it’s not, when to cut it loose; because the wrong kind of love can be a toxic one that destroys everyone and everything in it’s path.

'Mud’ was a long one with a run-time of 130 minutes but despite the length they were able to triple what they started off with at the box-office with a whopping gross of $21 million USD that year. Certainly some of the best work by McConaughey; before (Dallas Buyers Club) and recommended for a decent movie night.

Prioritize

We are creatures of habit. Our parents taught us, their parents taught them, and their parents taught them also. It’s the circle of life. What many of us don’t know though is that if we practice anything over a period of time, it ultimately stays with us; therefore why should we not practice things that will enhance our daily lives? 

It seems that our current generation is lazy, and becoming more so everyday. We accept things at face value and do nothing extra to find out the truth. Instead of cooking, we buy or microwave, instead of reading, we watch a video, instead of spending time with loved ones, we make excuses. Isn’t it about time we change that cycle? These negative habits. Whatever we spend time with we prioritize these specific things in our lives. My darlings, it is time to prioritize practices that will benefit us physically and mentally.

How shall we find truth and strength if we do not sit and ask questions from the Universe/God? How shall we become more focused, patient and mindful if we do not take time to meditate on these things daily? How shall we heal our bodies from the inside out if we do not put beautiful things into our body or take time to preserve nature? We claim we have the answers. We claim we know the truth. We claim we are the most powerful beings on this earth. I’m sorry to burst your bubble darlings, but it is not ALL about you. In fact, it’s about us!

We are all reflections of each other. Creating distance, harbouring hate, thinking negatively not only hurts your fellow man, but also in turn hurts you. It is time that we prioritize positive things into our lives. Sleep an hour less to spend time with yourself everyday, be silent, meditative and prayerful on a better world, a better you. You can’t just do it once in a while, once a week, and call yourself a master. After all it is a fact, we are creatures of habit, and the more time we spend with things of importance in our lives the more we’ll see the benefits of our sacrifice and hard work.

It’s never too late!

Ready, Set, Begin a new you! :))

Bless-up darlings!

Love Jair

Hope

Sick world we live in, really; just think about how much we continue to destroy and hurt our fellow man. Out of fear, out of jealousy, out of greed, out of hate. We all are reflections of ourselves, the good side, and the bad side; the 'ying-yang' of our deep and sometimes broken personalities. Love is quickly losing it's worth and meaning because we humans are forgetting what 'Love' really is, what 'Love' really means. Hurting others is essentially only hurting ourselves. We are drowning ourselves in lies and make-belief instead of dealing with the root of the problems…and so they grow; grow into gigantic forests of disappointment.

Life isn't fair. People die. People suffer. And sometimes hard work seemingly does not bring just rewards. But if we don't have hope in life, we may as well be dead. Hope reminds us that we have something to live for and that we still have purpose. We may not know the exact reason just yet, but everything is revealed in divine time. We must accept our disappointments in life, in others and in situations but we must never lose hope. "There is a crack in everything, that's how light gets in…" [Leonard Cohen] Therefore without the stinging falls, upsets and failures we would never be able to truly see with eyes of truth. Life takes on new meaning when we are awake to truth.

Quit blaming yourself. You must remember that there is evil. And there is goodness. And that before greatness, evil forces are set against you. True success doesn't come easily. And if it does, your life loses meaning. Those that betray you, sabotage you and drag your soul in the mud, are only hurting themselves, they have no power over your destiny. So pick yourself and breath warm resilience. You can cut all the flowers, but you can't keep spring from coming [Pablo Neruda]. They cannot stop you, they will not stop you, they only set themselves up for making their world darker, with more sadness, more confusion and more fear. 

My darlings, use that pain, and create something beautiful. Something inspirational for those who suffer more than you. For those who are helpless, without vision, without voice, without hope. When you're at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on [Theodore Roosevelt]. We must hold on for dear life, a better life, one full of optimism, one full of nurturing, one omitting despair. 

Evil might be strong, young, powerful and seemingly beautiful. But it's an illusion. Because what they give out they ooze and are filled of - ultimately killing themselves slowly - a slow sick burning - yearning to learn to love again…take pity on them, for they know not what they do…

Bless-up!

Love Jair

Cloud Atlas

A tad confusing in the beginning but carefully relating the web of significant key characters, this drama-mystery-sci-fi-fantasy film with an estimated budget of $100 million USD, loads of special effects, make-up and extraordinary actors delivered every element of an effective and stirring story. With a talented team sharing writing and directing credits 2012’s ‘Cloud Atlas’ seems stronger than ever!

Based on a 2004 novel, ‘Cloud Atlas’ written by English David Mitchell and the screenplay adaptation and directing were done by Chicago siblings Lana and Andy Wachowski whom you may remember from ‘The Matrix’ as well as German Tom Tykwer whom you may recall from ‘Run Lola Run’ solidified this past-present-future masterpiece. Together with a band of actors that were exciting to identify throughout different time-periods this story tells how everything and everyone are connected and how each life impacts another.

Oscar winner Tom Hanks, Oscar winner Halle Berry, Golden Globe winner Hugh Grant, the handsome English Jim Sturgess whom you may remember from ‘Across the Universe’, bright-eyed South-Korean actress Doona Bae, Nigerian-born but British/Australian Hugo Weaving whom you may remember from ‘The Matrix’, the comical and charming English Jim Broadbent, Keith David, Susan Sarandon and English David Gyasi, just to name a few of recurring and moving characters within this never-ending story.

Rated R for violence, language, sexuality/nudity this film is not for the young or faint-hearted. Jam-packed with adventure, action, eternal romance and a remarkable soundtrack it is thought-provoking and stimulates the senses. Its message that there are no short trips or short-cuts in life, only loss and restoration; all of us a multitude of droplets in a vast ocean. A 'JourneywithJair' favourite! J

I’ll leave you with some lovely quotes from the film which keeps the audience on their toes throughout:

“A half-read book is a half-finished love affair.”

“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.”

“Power, time, gravity, love. The forces that really kick ass are all invisible.”

“You say you’re depressed. All I see is resilience. You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn't mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.”

“Travel far enough, you meet yourself.”

Power

Another year rolls to an end and again it is a time of retrospect and review of lessons learnt. We may recall that despite the commercialism of this holiday ‘Christmas’ the truth of what it stands for and that although gift-giving is wonderful that our ‘presence’ is always more significant than our ‘presents’. http://www.journeywithjair.blogspot.com/search/label/presence

In addition to our giving of gifts this holiday; let us also give the gift of spirits! I do not only mean ‘spirits’ as in alcohol! :D But also the spirit of good-cheer! The spirit of forgiveness! The spirit of trust! And the spirit of acceptance! “Happy is the man that findeth wisdom and the man that getteth understanding”. We are all here on a journey through life – all discovering and learning along the way. Which one of us are perfect? Therefore let us embrace our imperfections and embrace and appreciate each other during this season and always.

As one of our heroes Gandhi said: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong”. And another of our female earth-bound angels, Mother Teresa taught us, that “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway”. It is through forgiveness that we are able to truly experience freedom, peace and transformation. It is a gift we can give to ourselves and also to others. When we forgive, we in turn are able to be forgiven. My darlings keep being true and listening to your feelings for your lessons and answers lie within them.

As the year also comes to an end, we similarly complete the current spiritual awakening and transformation that has been guiding us to this point. We should give thanksgiving and alms to the poor, helpless and less-fortunate as well practice prayer and meditation. We can trust that we will continue to have our paths guided and that once we are thoughtful, mindful and kind that harmony, inner peace and blessings are sure to follow. J

Wishing all my readers a lovely season and thanking you for your support and dedication by reading and sharing the joys of the film world as well as our journey together here on earth. May your blessings be multiplied and you have the desires of your heart! J Remember that we hold the power within to love and heal the world!

Love Jair

Every Man for Himself

It’s funny how life is; and the paths we take over and over again until we see the trail that we’ve somehow missed before. In life we do not get consistent results and we do not always find things cool to the touch; we are constantly tested so that through our life experiences we will find new truth and re-assuring lessons that will infuse within us abundant joy and eternal gladness.

When you are not free and are riddled with fear, dumbfounded by malevolent words and discouraged by nasty ways; remember that prayers are always powerful. A prayer is not something that needs to be shouted out on the mountain tops or done in some sort of special ritual way. It is, simply, becoming one and having closeness with your creator. Spending time when you feel low or otherwise to just check in and give thanks or ask for guidance. Prayer is a wonderful way to have a personal conversation with the Universe/God. It is by doing this that you are connected to the heavenly truth and comfort and with that truth you become free from the selfish ways of man.

More and more we see our societies being greedy, selfish and spiteful in their words and actions. Instead of uplifting, sharing and loving, we compete, push-away and show off. Since when is it of good character to trample on the dreams of others? Such funny times we live indeed; that we break down and fight against each other instead of being humble and rising together. When they laugh, ridicule you and say they love you but certainly don’t mean it – let them be – don’t listen to their un-kind words – rebuke their slander and fear they try to impose on you and make a decree to do just the opposite; to use your talent and desire for joy; for positive change; for peace; for love; for truth; for glory! For using your treasures in this way is the most fulfilling; the most stimulating to your hearts; and in turn you will be blessed in sound body and mind. J

Be complete; become whole, by plugging in to the beauty of nature, the beauty of the Universal love and joy that only your heavenly creator can activate access to. It is within you, within all of us and prayer is what helps this power to flow. So flow my darlings, and mirror your love and respect for yourself also to your fellow man, we are all on paths, trails and the ultimate journey to truth, understanding, trust and ALL the love you yearn but don’t get enough of on planet earth! J

Bless-up!

Jair J

Waltz with Bashir

“Memory is dynamic. It’s alive. If some details are missing, memory fills in the holes with things that never happened.”

This 2008 film written and directed by Israeli Ari Folman, first released in Israel, portraying true events of the 1982 invasion into Lebanon touched me in far more incredible ways than I could ever expect. It is a cinematic masterpiece; and a testament of what passionate film-making is all about. I was mesmerized from beginning till end and could not peel my eyes away from the screen; war movies aren’t my thing, but the way Folman constructed this one with such beauty and heart, even something so morbid could be seen in the most fascinating and tender way.

The conflicts that continue to happen between our fellow man is truly saddening because it seems that we may never learn; and that history will continue to repeat itself. The live-action footage, redrawn as digital paintings and then adapted with flash animation was terribly extraordinary and the pace of the film helped the audience completely connect with each story and the enormous depth with which each scene held. There were many disturbing moments as any war film would have but the fact that it was animated ,spoken in lilting Hebrew, and had exceptional , elegant classical Bach music playing throughout, made it possible for our viewers to handle.

There was no comedy in this film. It was heavy drama, allure and tremendous grief. I would say puts you in a dream-like trance, because war is seen in the most uncharacteristic way. Because it is true and conveyed in recollective stories, one is unable to compartmentalize it into some type of fantasy film despite its splendor, and instead sees it for what it is, a modern day documentary that is impossible not to draw you in because of its incredible carnage.

Every scene is executed with such devoted detail and Folman takes us over the edge in distress when we view the surprise switch of unpleasant stimulation at the end.

Vibrant, heart-wrenching and sensational in every way; certainly a film I’d recommend for a dose of truth and discovery of how important it is to balance the two sides of human nature. We don’t know what to do? “Pray and shoot!” is not the answer. Love is the answer… it is always and will be forever.

Waiting for Forever

I remember seeing the lovely poster for this film at a bus-stop place I’d drive by every so often; and every time I passed it I’d say, “I need to see this movie!” I couldn’t make out the name, but the image was bright in my mind. I wanted to see what it was about. I mean, how often does a man take his hat off for a lady? Turns out that the title was ‘Waiting for Forever’ and it’s funny because that’s how long a girl has to wait for somebody special to love.

This 2010 film was an enchanting one; quite unusual and marvelous all in one; a love story yes; but typical, most certainly not. Our main characters were Emma played by American beauty, Rachel Bilson and Will played by British bombshell Tom Sturridge; both were believable in their characters, but Tom’s portrayal of a smitten boy in wincing pain being so close but far away from the one he loved; was absolutely phenomenal! The film was different than other love stories because it made us believe that our main character Tom was ill because of his fear to make his love known for such a long time; but also because of Emma’s reaction to him after he finally mustered up the courage to say it.

The audience connected right away with this character because his depiction was very sincere and the writer Steve Adams and director James Keach both gave its viewers enough back story and eloquent information about what brought him to his present situation. The close-shots of eyes and beautiful landscapes and dream-like sequences gave the film a very romantic feel. The way Sturridge viewed the world was beautiful and un-jaded, it made you feel alive!

It pays for your parents to already be in the film business, as directors and actors as our two main stars have been born into this dream-world of film; but their talent really backs up their assets. They did a brilliant job! Be prepared for a wonderful ride with loads of tears and extra thumping of your heart! J

It's a Wonderful Life

“Every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings!” I’d heard that phrase so many times before but never knew where it came from. And now, voila! There it’s said in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, a 1946 Frank Capra film, by none other but, Clarence the guardian angel. I was lucky enough to receive this lovely film as a Christmas gift from one of the most gentle and kind people I’ve been so lucky to meet here in a land so far from home; a gift that couldn’t be sweeter with its extraordinary message.

That message being that:

“Each man’s life touches another man’s life…” and “Remember, no man is a failure who has friends…”

This black and white film was divine in every way, and I’m proud to say that it most certainly has made it onto the list of ‘Jair’s Favourite Films’. Being alone for Christmas yet another year, sacrificing for something I believe in, this film couldn’t come at more a significant time. It was heart-warming to say the least and expertly orchestrated from beginning to end with scores of encouraging lessons.

It is films like these that relinquish any thoughts of giving up on one’s dreams and steer one back on the path he/she needs to be. I noticed the small but brilliant quote hung in George Bailey played by James Stewart’s office which read:

“All you can take with you, is that which you’ve given away.”

And how very true it is! It is only what we share of ourselves and give to one another that is the most meaningful in life. Everything else is secondary. Your presence will always be more splendid than any present and this is what so many of us forget time and time again. It reminded me a bit of ‘The Alchemist’ in that sometimes what you’re searching for, is right in front of you, you have nowhere to go but just be.

Keep the tissues nearby as it is sure to bring on the water-works; the audience quickly falls in love with its main character George Bailey and throughout the film we are captivated with his sincere relationship with his nature and all those who grow to meet him. It is a marvelous story of what faith is and what it can do if you believe and never give up. Keep doing good things and good things will follow you. ‘Good things come to those who wait’ and ‘Dreams really do come true’. You’re never forgotten in life, therefore we only need to keep striving and pushing forward knowing that we all have our days in the sun.

My favourite line in the film was: “What’d’ya want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I’ll throw a lasso around it!” For many men promise girls the moon and stars, but what if you were in love with the moon itself…what if a girl could really have that moon…How happy it’d make her as it did Mary Hatch played by Donna Reed, whose only wish was to be with the one she loved. J

A film I’d recommend for anyone who feels they’re a failure, anyone who runs away from the truth, anyone who is ready to truly live their life with meaning and light. It was drama, fantasy and inspirational and a film for the whole family.

Here’s to a Happy Christmas, to the true meaning of friends and family and most of all LOVE! J

Guzaarish

This 2010 UTV Motion picture set in Goa, India was a most remarkable and heart-warming journey that I've seen in a long time. Besides the iconic music used in the film to make it memorable, the story-content and gripping and controversial substance made it something of brilliance and something of celebration!

Growing up in the West-Indies, and specifically in Trinidad & Tobago, East-Indian culture isn't hard to find. I was immersed in the music, the dancing, the food and of course the movies. I would say that this film although starring Indian superstars like Hrithik Roshan and Aishwarya Rai, isn't the typical type of Bollywood film one would imagine. When one thinks of Bollywood, they think of singing and dance numbers and elaborate and fantastic sets; but this film was much more subtle and aptly so.

Ethan Mascarenhas played by Hrithik Roshan was a man respected and admired by many; he was a successful magician, whom one day suffered a tragic accident during one of his acts, which left him as a quadriplegic. Fourteen years later, he's still fighting along and has inspired many like himself and others who just seem lost in life. He hosts a radio show and is light, love and laughter to all who enter into his life. But then something changes within his heart and he has a strong need for change. Guzaarish is the Hindi word meaning Desire; and throughout this film, the audience sees how powerful his desire really is and although we fall in love with the main character and may disagree with his aspiration, slowly we all begin to understand what kind of life he has endured and why even what may seem daunting, could ultimately be the most freeing and most beautiful of all.

Guzaarish is by far a gem in cinematic history. I say this because it can inspire and brighten even the most depressed and disheartened people. It shines light on how grateful and how beautiful life is at every moment, despite what may seem like a whirlwind of bitterness and disappointment. The acting portrayed by Roshan was larger than life, especially since most of it was done by his facial expressions and longing eyes. Aishwarya Rai lent us her beauty once more, but also surprising comic timing and grace so many women lack to carry today.

If you need a 'pick-me-upper' or some faith to keep on going, I'd certainly recommend this film that will speak to your heart with it's music, and wake you up with it's refreshing Goa cinematic landscapes. There was comedy, romance and certainly a dramatic and emotional passage of one man's outstanding life. Don't forget to bring with you some tissues to dry the tears.

I will leave you with some words uttered by the main character, which goes:

"Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love deeply. Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile." :))

Freedom

Freedom means many different things to many different people. Some people think of others enslaved, but I think of a mind that is enslaved; a mind trapped by constraints of worry, negativity and anxiety. How can we free ourselves from this? I have been in a silly state lately, not being able to shake off worry about things beyond my control; and I knew I had to write about it when I'd found the answer. It didn't come easy, but after meditating on it, and breathing and clearing my mind, I was given many answers through life, friends, and yes, some good ole' Khalil Gibran. He wrote in one of his stories 'The Cry of the Graves'; "…I shall no longer require this raiment, nor do I wish my soul to suffer in the narrow house of a criminal…And all the servants did likewise and joined the crowd whose faces radiated joy, symbol of Freedom and Truth…" And after reading this particular line; not that I wasn't taught this before, I at that moment, remembered that once one has an awakened heart, to truth, then they are free from worry, they are able to speak the truth and feel and be lighter, they are able to recognize what is healthy and what isn't, and they are able to be that more jolly on a day to day basis. When they have an awakened heart, they know that every moment indeed is a joyful blessing. When we are free in mind, we are free in spirit, we are free to not be bound with rope and broken down in a dark prison like a criminal. For we aren't criminals for having emotions and feelings, so why then must we suffer?

We need to free ourselves, and our thoughts, and realize that we mustn't hideaway and think we are unworthy because we do not have control. We should perhaps be happy, in knowing we actually do not have the burden to carry, we can be carefree in knowing that 'you weren't brought this far, if it wasn't meant to be', therefore only good can come from this, so onwards we go! All the doubts in between have no place here; but only your intuition and trust in the Universe giving you the best outcome in the most perfect timing.

Forget the material things; they carry the most weight. Forget about what the world deems perfect to be; they aren't you. Forget people who try to mess with your mind and bring you down instead of lifting you up; they aren't helping you see the bright side, of the lessons you learn and literally hold your head under the water. You know you need to come up for air, yet you settle there, allowing your precious air bubbles to leave you.

A dear friend said to me today; "You know, there are so many different kinds of love. And yes love is the greatest thing, but it's not the only thing. And if one love isn't working out, then focus on another kind of love…it works for me!" And yes it is the truth. It seems to many that if you don't have what you want, when you want it; the little girl or boy in us begins stomping and pouting, having a terrible tantrum, because they believe that their problems are the greatest in the world. But there are other little boys and girls suffering far worse than you can imagine. So many broken and sick people, so many lost. We have little control over love and circumstances; one must surrender, and re-focus on the other things they do love and of circumstances we can make positive change to. And if that happens to be work; then so be it. But don't ever forget the birds singing…the butterflies that fly past you…and the people who've been there for you always; there for you, even when it hurts them when you are hurting too; yet still they are at your side, wanting to just kiss you and make it all better, dreaming of smiles to land upon your face. For if you take them for granted…one day my darling, they'll be all gone…you never miss someone till you realize their worth…appreciate them now…

He loves me, he loves me not, you can't force nobody to love you!

As my Trinbagonian people say: "What is to is, must is, it can't are!" And if you've been there, given your best and you still feel ignored, then…Peace out!

"Monkey say cool breeeeeeze!"

Bless up!

Jair

Gia

"We use them up, and throw them away! And "I want Sirloin Meat!" these are precisely accurate phrases of how models are viewed and used, not as people, but as merchandise to pump up sales for brainwashed consumers.

If they didn't make a film about Gia Marie Carangi, I'd never know about her; and I'm glad they did, because it seems to me that her life; despite her many downs, was just as important and poignant as any of us. This 1998 film written by Jay McInerney and Michael Cristopher whom also directed the film was expertly played out by Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell. Of course I found the lesbian sex moments, completely amplified and un-called for; but I am not a male film-maker, and some queries just don't have answers, like Muholland Drive and Black Swan to name a few.

Despite the girl-on-girl loving, I found the transitions unique and alarming, with total red screens, blurring and out-of-focus shots, which worked wonderfully with the film's composition. I felt that if the film-makers were able to use side by side shots and or footage of real interviews and photos of the real Gia Carangi, and her family and friends it would have made an even greater impact or familiarity of her. I'd heard many things about this film; some good and some not as nice, and now I can understand why, but despite the awry and shocking nature of this film, I must say I quite enjoyed it and am glad that I'd finally had the opportunity to see it.

It's messages were profound and necessary, not only for young girls and boys in the model industry, but for people, like so many of us who are lost, craving love and attention and because of it led astray in a thick net, that some of us never find our way out of. Thank-fully I haven't succumb to the temptations and alleviations of this world, but I can certainly relate to this dark side of so-called glamour and success. Gia Marie Carangi was a bombshell and I'd say an aspiring writer, and because of her propelled success and lifestyle and lack of love received and also for herself, she dug herself in a hole and buried herself at the tender age of 26. If one isn't grounded and comfortable with themselves, I can see how easily they can all let things go. I adored the bit said by Francesco (one of her photographers who never gave up on her) played by Edmund Genest:

"I know, I know, life is so disappointing. Here you are, you have arrived. You are here, this is your moment, and what do you have? You have pain. And when you have everything, what do you have? You have nothing. When everything is right, everything is wrong. It's disappointing, it's confusing. This is life. What can you do?"

I found that the balance between Gia's fanatical behavior brought on by the hurt and drug abuse, and the eloquence she sometimes achieved through her writing was spot-on. I thought that she struck gold when she said on the air-craft, "Being somebody doesn't make you anybody anyway…" I know that in this life, everybody wants to be somebody, and they already are unique and precious individuals, but it is always extreme power, greed or often-times just love that people crave that make them feel this way.

What we forget is that we are somebody to everybody, and that we are always being watched and admired by people we least expect, so every little thing that you do, is profound and worthy.
Faye Dunaway's answer to her on that airplane was: "You will always be somebody to me!"

I believe it's just those words that people in anxiety or fear need to hear, but more importantly need to understand and believe.

Faye Dunaway who played Wilhelmina Cooper was delightful to watch, and this film was a bit special to me also as when I first was approached to model, it was Wilhelmina that also first gave me that chance; and the fact that Gia/Angelina Jolie used the phrase 'doux-doux' when she called her lover (a beautiful term of endearment) [hahah]. I know many dislike Angelina Jolie, just as others critique Woody Allen and Madonna's life-styles, but I always strive to separate their personal lives from their performances or work lives. There is beauty and beast in all of us, good and evil, light and darkness, and one should never be judged, otherwise we also should be judged. Angelina Jolie is a phenomenal actress, and it is shown here again. Playing dark, un-likeable and ugly characters is not an easy thing to do, and even if it may be for some, to have the comfort and courage to transform your beauty and 'image' to something as sinister takes heart. Angelina Jolie isn't afraid to go there, and I admire that.

I'll leave you with the last conversation supposedly had between Francesco and Gia which went:

Gia: "Thank-you."

Francesco: "Gia, this is life; not heaven, you don't have to be perfect!"

Now

Many people ask why make sacrifices for 40 days. They ask, "Are you religious?" They turn their noses up and point fingers and say silly things like, "For Lent, I'm giving up Lent!" That's all fine; everyone is entitled to their own point of view. And just because one enjoys the challenge of being disciplined, or understands the value of sacrifice and will-power doesn't make one religious. Sure the real reason for Lent is the remembrance of the Prophet Jesus, whom Christians deem the Messiah who came to teach us about the Universal Love and about how we should live and to treat everyone with love and respect. During the Lenten season, before his death on a cross he meditated and fasted for 40 days and nights in the wilderness/desert to become closer to the Supreme Being/his father to ready himself for what he had to do for mankind. During the time of fasting and self-retrospect, our eyes are opened to truth. We realize our self worth and value; about gaining fulfillment by helping those in need and spreading love and giving to the less-fortunate. We realize that nothing is as it seems. I remember sitting in the cockpit one day, and one of the pilots and myself were chatting and gazing at the smooth clouds whizzing past beneath us, and I said, "It looks so soft and lovely…" And he says, "Yes, some of them are, but some will shake you up real bad!" And isn't that the truth. Nothing is as it seems, but with love, you shan't have any fear in your life!

I must admit re-activating my facebook account, and having so many friends welcome me back, licking my lips of 'real' syrup after making a delicious pancake breakfast, and jammin' to some lovely Caribbean music in my car after a long day's work, really made my heart smile in a great way. But after my third bite of chocolate, and discovering the one I fancied had time to update his facebook profile and not even message me as he said he would; that being rid of these things in the first place wasn't that bad. It was somewhat more freeing, because with my simpler, non-sugar, no facebook life, I was given enhanced intuition and creativity, I was able to tune in with those around me and I knew that to continue like this I would be able to move forward with my career, life and relationships! I became a Brand New Me! A me that was aware of the true love and joy which is all found in the Universe, and not in the things people cling to, to make themselves feel better temporarily.

That was the relevance of Lent, and that was the relevance of sacrifice and soul-searching. But here I was, back into the green valleys with lots of water to drink and some dimpled distractions (ha ha); back to the world that would make Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi weep, as what they fought so hard for was still being deteriorated and lost because of man's constant greed and ever-creeping divisions. And then I thought; could it not also be a challenge of living within this world, and staying grounded, yet also able to practice, and share my knowledge and truth with those that I meet. Spreading the message and encouraging and inspiring others. For to sit and focus on my breath alone everyday for the rest of my life, would be wonderful, however rather selfish; I can do both, for I become a greater student and teacher living amidst all people, the good, the bad and the lost, just as Jesus did (befriending prostitutes and tax-collectors); for we aren't to judge, only to love, for we are all reflections of each other, on different paths, to learn different lessons and ending at that place beyond life and death. J

After focusing on my breath today, the word, 'NOW' was given to me…and how funny and fitting that in the animated version of the Beatles video: All You Need is Love, that I was inspired to add to this blog. The word 'NOW' appears and I believe my message was; 'Now you know the Truth'. Thank-you Jah-Jah for teaching me…continue to lead me! J

We Belong

We humans are ever so powerful, so resilient yet on the other hand, so darn fragile. We're given some hard knocks and wonder at times how we shall overcome them at all. It seems like a battle in an un-ending war these days; but for those of us awake to the truth of the Universe and all the hidden splendor available to us, we realize that despite the people that break us down, despite their actions, lack of fairness and thoughtfulness, we know that we must continue striving forward. For there are happy endings for those who believe in it; and the Universe/God will provide for the gentle, meek, and grateful. Fear not, for love and light surrounds you, and the dreams you hold, if they are built with good heart, will certainly be attainable, as all things seemingly impossible is made possible. For the door is always open, it is only ajar though until you are ready to proceed forward! J

** One of my fave films; beautiful song...

Eat Pray Love

I remember seeing several passengers on my flights with a copy of this novel in their hands while I whizzed through the aisles with my beverage trolley and I remember thinking, 'Pretty cover, but seriously I'm doing a service here and these people should at least look up from their books so I don't have to continuously repeat myself'. Then I remember hearing that Oprah added it to her list of 'Books you must read because I'm Oprah selection', (not that I watch Oprah, it's just sometimes I surf through the television channels in my hotel room and mysteriously the battery to the remote decides to die when landing on her show); I remember also talk about them turning this paperback, into a film. Wow! Kudos to Elizabeth Gilbert (whoever she was)! I wasn't interested at all still to read or watch the movie. I thought, I'm not into fiction anyway; besides, I much rather read inspirational/self-help/mystery/horror novels. But that just goes to show how funny the Universe is…anytime you say, "I'll never, I won't, I'm not interested, or 'as if'", that's when the Universe gives you precisely what you didn't ask for. You see, it doesn't understand all the words really (especially since it has to understand all the languages not only on planet earth, but the entire Universe), it just knows that when you say something with conviction then you must want that brought into your life.

So, here it is I'm at home in my beautiful twin-islands of Trinidad & Tobago, celebrating my birthday with Daddy dearest and my Super Mumsita and I unwrap one of my gifts excitedly to find 'Eat Pray Love'. Great! Now I have to read it. I look up at my parents with a quizzical face that says, 'Really?' And they tell me that they've heard great things about this book and thought I might want to read it before the movie comes out. I smile and cleverly shove it aside to open my next non-feeling-like-a-book-gift.

Weeks later, literally shoved back into work and busy America, I'm faced with a depression that had no right to bother me in the first place. It just showed up uninvited and turned my lovely world into darkness. I was lonely and alone once again and I didn't feel like reading my self-help books at the moment I feared I'd slash my grand collection with the rage ensuing within my heart. So, I had no choice, I dug 'Eat Pray Love' out from under my collection of books I may want to read at the side of my bed, opened it up and read it. The book is 445 pages with medium-small text and I swallowed it up in just 2 days. My, what a heart-warming, honest, and friendly book! I say friendly because I felt as though Elizabeth was my friend, and what I didn't know was that it was a true story, so it turned out to be inspirational after all.

Now I can say that I've read the book and watched the movie and although it may not be my most favourite novel or film, I can safely say that it touched me in a positive way and I can honestly see why and how it touched people all around the world too. I burst into tears, I was angry at some points, I was happy at the end too. I always love happy endings. Gosh! They're the best aren't they?!

The book was better than the movie – I know some people are rejoicing because they think 'every' book is better than the movie, but I'm not one of those people. The book just had so many more intricacies and reality than Hollywood could box into an hour and a half of film. I enjoyed the film too, don't get me wrong, because seriously, how many films give you a grandiose view of a Welsh man's perfect bum? All in all, directors try to portray as best as they can the highlights and most of the message when turning books into film and I must say they did a first-rate job. There were some moments where I think they should have done more explanation, more narration as Elizabeth's novel did; which made you connect more with the main character, like when Giovanni walked her home and she wished for a kiss from him because it was so romantic, even though she wasn't 'in-love' with him, or perhaps added the details about the sly behavior of Wayan towards Elizabeth, or mention that Tutti had 2 adopted sisters. The added scenes of the Indian wedding and twisting of relationships in the film actually worked. I found the meditation scenes quite funny; as I myself struggle with my thoughts, but after watching this I am more determined to use my 'alone' time to master my learned techniques. I also can't get S' Wonderful by Joao Gilberto out of my head either....sigh** such beautiful music.

I must admit Julia Roberts did a great job at looking like a 'pretty woman' on screen (no pun intended), and believably ugly enough too during her countless crying scenes. I've discovered that suddenly James Franco isn't so attractive to me anymore…Hmmm… rather strange. And Javier Bardem did a marvelous job as always; now he's undeniably Hollywood material, not only can he play scary villain characters but also a delightful leading romantic man; He is now indisputably a household name.

Cinematic moments that made my heart soar were:

When your life is in ruins, it's only a transformation towards something better.

The only way for you to love again is to trust again.

Sometimes when falling in love you lose your balance, but it's the only way you can truly be balanced.

Sure, it's all about love, when is it not about love? Doesn't it truly make the world go round; Love conquers all. Lucky to those who have it! Humph! j/k. But on a serious note, this was one woman's journey to find her heart and to find peace and balance and yes…Love within her life. And she found it alright; everybody's path is different, some people don't have Hollywood happy endings, and some people don't have the luxury to travel to exotic lands for lengthy amounts of time. But I think the true message is to find that balance within your life and not remain in something unhealthy for you just because you miss someone, or you want things to work, or you're accustom to conveniences you're not ready to give up; that's not a good enough excuse for your happiness and freedom to be the best you! You also don't have to travel the world in search of it, as I am actually guilty of doing, sometimes what you need is right under your nose, as I've found out, after chasing after it all around the world and having it lead me right back to where I started.

Be true to yourself and never settle, you deserve a better you, understanding, happiness, truth, sharing, trust and everlasting friendship. You're not in control of many things in life, but you are in control of how enjoyable you make your destiny. Who do you want to journey with? J

I will leave you with some words of one of my favourite tunes, which probably has nothing to do with the novel or movie, but I love it and feel obliged to share…Enjoy! It's entitled 'La Foule' by the beloved and late Edith Piaf:

I see the city again at a festival, delirious,

Suffocating in sun-drenched merriment

And I hear shouts and laughter amidst the music

Which breaks out and bounces all around me

And lost among these people who jostle me

Dizzy, distressed, I stay there.

When suddenly I turn, he draws back

And the crowd throws me into his arms

Carried away by the crowd which drags us,

Carries us off.

Squashes us against each other

We form one body

And the effortless stream pushes us, chained to one another.

And leaves us both expansive, intoxicated, happy.

Dragged along by the crowd which dashes forward and dances a mad farandole.

Our two hands stay joined and sometimes raised

Our two bodies entwined fly off and we both fall back

Expansive, intoxicated, happy.

And the joy radiating from his smile.

Pierces me and bursts forth from my depths

But suddenly I cry out amidst the laughter

When the crowd starts to tear him from my arms

Carried away by the crowd which drags us

Pulls us along, pulls us far from each other

I fight and struggle

But the sound of his voice is muffled by the laughter of others.

I scream in pain, fury and rage and I cry.

Carried away by the crowd which dashes forward and dances a mad farandole.

I am carried away far off

I clench my fists, cursing the crowd that stole

The man it gave me, whom I will never find again…

[You bring me to life, I like who I am when I'm with you, but if you don't need me anymore, I'll transform with grace because of the memory you'll hold in my heart…always…Love you my darling, doux-doux!] J

I do believe it's time to put on my 'Brazilian Lounge' CD and do a little twirling and dancing! J

Dreams on Fire...

Having to drink a shot of vodka just to get some 'shut-eye' is far from funny. Not having an appetite and then whenever you manage to eat you feel nauseous is a bit worse. But feeling teed off when every other person that walks by is pregnant or part of a happy family of three holding hands; that's when you know you've got problems. Why couldn't I be that happy couple? Why couldn't that unborn child be in my stomach? Why couldn't the one I love, love me the same way he longed and yearned for her?

It's not fair!

It really isn't…true it's good to have forgiveness and compassion and to walk the right path. But can one forgive someone who betrayed their trust? How can one still love someone even though it was quite obvious that they didn't love you the same? I suppose only that person would have answers to those sort of questions.

Sometimes it seems that you're living in a nightmare; but just your nightmare; your torment; your hurt. Because for everyone else, life is just 'peachy'! You begin to wonder if perhaps you're cursed, if you've racked up a full life-time (this one) of bad karma, if you'd be doomed to become a lonely cat lady even though you didn't fancy cats. Couldn't you get a little break? Oh, wait, you did have a break…the 7 months of being giggly silly in love, being there for that person no matter what was going on in your life, every morning a lovely memory of what you'd talked about or did the day before. That was your break. 7 months of pure bliss. Now it was back to harsh reality; back to your punishment; back to being single and having to hear all your friends say, "Don't worry, you'll meet someone new!" or "He's just a jerk, forget him, move on with your life!" Hah! Little do they know of the utter joy you had in this short space of time. Little do they know that he was the best thing that happened to you? Because sure it's nice to spend time with your girlfriends, but they didn't have broad shoulders and hugs that made you melt. Or opened doors like your very own modern-day gentleman, or cook for you, and tell you stories of his youth. Or call you doux-doux or sunshine and never once disrespect you…

I know they mean well. I know that everyone means well. But the truth is that every waking moment (especially since you can't sleep) you think about that person, and if it's only good times, then that's all you're going to remember. The truth is that 'every' damn slow song that plays on the radio makes you tremble with tears, and the upbeat happy ones make you livid. The truth is that you're going to feel like dying every morning you wake up (5 minutes of rest) until one morning you realize that it is what it is, and you have no control over the situation. Then you accept it and slowly your heart heals; and you'd be so tired crying and feeling nauseated that you finally realize you need to sleep….

And people say you have a lesson to learn; and some people say you did nothing wrong and it's not your fault. And I think each instance is different. I think that sometimes you have nothing to learn, because loving somebody could never be a bad thing. That you sadly stumbled into this beauty quickly turned into hell because YOU had a lesson/s to teach THEM. And that you cannot force somebody to love you; you can pretend but if they don't love you, they'll 'mess up' or go away and leave you without closure. Or maybe you'd think of what I'd have been like to be gay; they didn't have such problems as bringing life into the world. Or maybe becoming a monk or nun; if nobody loves me at least my imaginary God will and I can lose myself in prayer and chores and wear long robes to ensure no human could bring me pain. Hmmm…maybe not such a bad idea; although being a cat lady might be the best fit because you could wear shorts on hot days and still have loads of cats give you love. You and the cat hair would be inseparable. Un-conditional love….Hmmm….

Really…life is up and down and down and up. Like a see-saw or swings in a child's playground. So you go UPPPPP… and you have a view of the clouds and the sky, and trees in the distance and you go DOWNNNNN…and you lose all that sense of euphoria and beautiful view, but children don't worry because they know that they'll be up again in no time. I think we have to look at life like this too. When you're down in the dumps and you feel worthless and disappointed and used and hurt and unattractive like you're 'just a friend'; believe it or not you will get up again.

With every disappointment it is really a blessing in disguise…you must believe that. We cannot see why this is happening right now; who knows what the future holds (hmmm…sounds all too familiar), we do not know what it holds, if you are due for an up, you can bet it's something really good! Because you are beautiful, wise, intelligent, and if you continue to do good, you will be rewarded for it….the universe guarantees it J Let go; and take care of yourself…it's time to heal. Now it's your time…just let it be…

If only the breeze could kiss me

Trees green as your eyes are

The river enveloping me like your hugs

If only the fragrance of the grass smelt like you

A taste so sumptuous

A love so pure

Of friendship

Of trust

Of sharing

Then if I had all these things I wouldn't miss you…

I could live happily

Walking the earth

Hugging the trees

Drinking from the river

Not caring if the breeze chapped my lips

Because then I could live knowing you'd always be a part of me

As much as it mars me…I trust you universe, to always love me….

Now

And forever

And I thank-you for loving me…

For without your love, I may as well be a character in a story that would never be written…

I put my trust in you – despite my gaping and bloodied wound.

– you are the magic; you are the prayer I'm saying…Dreams on Fire.

By: Jair Ananda Massiah

500 Days of Summer

What a delightful film! My passengers and flight mates alike raved about how much they enjoyed it. Even a pilot from another airline pass-riding on my flight back from Europe expressed how wonderful it was. I looked at him in disbelief, as I caught silent glimpses of it, while serving coffee, orange juice and cocktails. How could a guy enjoy a 'chick-flick'? Hmmm....maybe it wasn't a 'chick-flick'; now I was even more intrigued to see it! I must admit I'd had a MASSIVE crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt when I was a small girl, I don't know exactly what it was about him, but I think it must have been his gentle eyes. Eyes usually are my first attraction. They say it's the window to the soul. :) I thought it'd be nice to see it, since I hadn't seen Joseph acting for a while.

The pilot was quite an egotistical fellow, rambling about how perfect his girlfriend was. He was about 40, tall, dark hair, and showed one of my flightmate's and I, a gazillion photos and video on his I Phone of his girlfriend. She looked about 23, from Eastern Europe, blonde, petit, and bubbly. Her aim was to move to New York, sad but true, he didn't seem to realize it yet, but he was her ticket there. He spoke wildly about how in love they were and that their love was just like the 500 Days of Summer. He said he'd be with her and other men would approach her all the time. He loved that! Strange I thought, but as narcissitic as he was, I understood clearly his exceeding pleasure.

So here I am, 3 months later, in the comfort of my cold box of a room, I bundle with my numerous blankets and pop the film into my laptop DVD player. Did they write this movie for me? Goodness! The similarities were uncanny! I suppose many people could say they've been in similar situations. But why did the names match, the situations, and the outcomes, all the same in my life? Sheesh! :( Yes; I cried alright. Tom didn't deserve that, I didn't deserve that. Joseph's character was rather lovely. Sweet Thomas; you are the winter stagecoach that journeys on the icy depths of my withering heart. Dear Tom, I would love you in my life. You could be the architect of my happiness; you just have to give me a chance; get to know me a bit better. We can be great friends, I guarantee it! And maybe even something more! :) There were many moments in the film that were heart-wrenching for me, because I'd been in similar agonizing instances; but it wasn't till the very end of the film that my salty tears met my onion breath. Yes, the past few days, I'd racked up my 'bad diet' points by ingesting bars of chocolate and greasy cheese-burgers with extra onions. It's Valentine's Day in 2 days, what can I say, my Volkswagen dealership is the only one that sends me Valentine's Day cards! Happy Single Awareness and bring on the damn chocolate! Milk chocolate please! :)

I found the story line to be extremely irresitable, delicate and sweet. I appreciated how they used art and drawing simultaneously throughout, with the little blue bird that was perched on Tom's finger. When Tom walked out onto the street, and his world crumbled into a pencil drawing and then disappearing altogether, by being erased and dull, just like a drawing on a paper that's been erased too many times. Perhaps signifying the amount of times you're let down in love. I enjoyed the simplicity of the film, and that it wasn't your typical love-story; or typical story at all for that matter. That a woman (his mother) found love at 49, and his sister no older than about 12, knew more about philosophy and Nietchze than most adults would ever care to know about. Life doesn't make much sense...

Or does it?

The more one tries to figure things out, the fewer things seem to make sense. The world is fast-paced and de-sensitized, people talk fast, think fast and no longer have time to read or smell the roses or far less stop to smell the pages of books. They lock their elderly in homes because they have no time for them, and their children fend for themselves and are exposed to everything adults are, making them callous and sharp like thorns. And Love. Love is a word people misuse and abuse tremendously, because no one truly knows the meaning of love anymore.

I began to grasp that it didn't matter what age you were in this world. We were all on a journey, taking different paths, and having different experiences to learn different lessons. We are ever-changing; we are constantly evolving into different facets of ourselves. So yes, an 18 or 21 year old could say they know what love is all about. It could happen in a week, a month, or a day. But I wonder sometimes; how can you trust your heart, if for some it's the first time they're using it? I realize now looking back, that when I was first in love, I was only giving my heart a test-drive. I turned it on, got the blood pumping and churning right, but I still needed more fuel, the right fuel. The right fuel; true love I suppose. My heart knew what love was, but was it the right oil/fuel for my heart, for me? I'd have to try many others to see what love felt like, to see what true love is.

And by that last sentence, I suppose it's alright to say, Life does make sense, and is very fair. Created in such exquisiteness and flawlessness. So what if it hurt? What if you don't understand it? We humans love to learn in error; we destroy everything to build it up again, but I fear, maybe one day, it'll be a little too late ....

So my sister says to call him; but I can't bring myself to do it; at least not yet. What have I got to lose you say? Well, nothing I suppose, I quite relish heart-ache! Heart-ache and onion breath! Mmmm...the perfect combination! And that of course, I tell an enormous fib; but suppose Tom is indeed right? Suppose it just happens, and it just hits you. Love happens and he finally picks up the phone and calls me.... :)