Monday, April 25, 2011


Many people ask why make sacrifices for 40 days. They ask, "Are you religious?" They turn their noses up and point fingers and say silly things like, "For Lent, I'm giving up Lent!" That's all fine; everyone is entitled to their own point of view. And just because one enjoys the challenge of being disciplined, or understands the value of sacrifice and will-power doesn't make one religious. Sure the real reason for Lent is the remembrance of the Prophet Jesus, whom Christians deem the Messiah who came to teach us about the Universal Love and about how we should live and to treat everyone with love and respect. During the Lenten season, before his death on a cross he meditated and fasted for 40 days and nights in the wilderness/desert to become closer to the Supreme Being/his father to ready himself for what he had to do for mankind. During the time of fasting and self-retrospect, our eyes are opened to truth. We realize our self worth and value; about gaining fulfillment by helping those in need and spreading love and giving to the less-fortunate. We realize that nothing is as it seems. I remember sitting in the cockpit one day, and one of the pilots and myself were chatting and gazing at the smooth clouds whizzing past beneath us, and I said, "It looks so soft and lovely…" And he says, "Yes, some of them are, but some will shake you up real bad!" And isn't that the truth. Nothing is as it seems, but with love, you shan't have any fear in your life!

I must admit re-activating my facebook account, and having so many friends welcome me back, licking my lips of 'real' syrup after making a delicious pancake breakfast, and jammin' to some lovely Caribbean music in my car after a long day's work, really made my heart smile in a great way. But after my third bite of chocolate, and discovering the one I fancied had time to update his facebook profile and not even message me as he said he would; that being rid of these things in the first place wasn't that bad. It was somewhat more freeing, because with my simpler, non-sugar, no facebook life, I was given enhanced intuition and creativity, I was able to tune in with those around me and I knew that to continue like this I would be able to move forward with my career, life and relationships! I became a Brand New Me! A me that was aware of the true love and joy which is all found in the Universe, and not in the things people cling to, to make themselves feel better temporarily.

That was the relevance of Lent, and that was the relevance of sacrifice and soul-searching. But here I was, back into the green valleys with lots of water to drink and some dimpled distractions (ha ha); back to the world that would make Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi weep, as what they fought so hard for was still being deteriorated and lost because of man's constant greed and ever-creeping divisions. And then I thought; could it not also be a challenge of living within this world, and staying grounded, yet also able to practice, and share my knowledge and truth with those that I meet. Spreading the message and encouraging and inspiring others. For to sit and focus on my breath alone everyday for the rest of my life, would be wonderful, however rather selfish; I can do both, for I become a greater student and teacher living amidst all people, the good, the bad and the lost, just as Jesus did (befriending prostitutes and tax-collectors); for we aren't to judge, only to love, for we are all reflections of each other, on different paths, to learn different lessons and ending at that place beyond life and death. J

After focusing on my breath today, the word, 'NOW' was given to me…and how funny and fitting that in the animated version of the Beatles video: All You Need is Love, that I was inspired to add to this blog. The word 'NOW' appears and I believe my message was; 'Now you know the Truth'. Thank-you Jah-Jah for teaching me…continue to lead me! J

Friday, April 22, 2011

Lat Den Ratte Komma In

I've always been fond of foreign films; being a foreigner myself and also because I find the storylines irresistable. I've always enjoyed French, Spanish, Italian and Chinese films, but lately I've been getting my fill on Swedish films. And goodness, are they exquisitely delightful!

Let the Right One In; was a tense and mesmerizing film, and not just because it happened to be a vampire tale, but because it had much more underlying profundity within its tale. It was about companionship, trust, love and about being there when the other needs you most. About living your life the best way you can despite daunting circumstances.

Kare Hederbrant and Lina Leandersson, the two main actors in this film did a phenomenal job at portraying the pain one would withstand, when they don't fit in, are bullied, or aren't given the attention they deserve by loved ones. Their chemisty, sincerity and overall performance was simply beautiful. This goes to show again that you don't need to be Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt or any other Hollywood actor to deliver extraordinary work.

This 2009 film was written by John Ajvide Lindqvist and directed by Tomas Alfredson, and together I am ecstatic to say that they developed a wonderfully exotic and ancient tale with a modern twist. It is by watching films like this that inspire me so much and remind me that I am alive with purpose for doing also the same. For despite critisms and phony people whom most times don't mean you well, there is still hope. For what is life, if there isn't any hope?

I was fond of the way this film was thrilling, at just the right points, and although blood spattered at times, it made sense throughout the movie. I also enjoy again the realness of it, opposed to beauitful, shiny and perfect, it had grittiness and true confidence in not winning an award for Best Wardrobe.

I loved how Eli played by Lina Leandersson, left Oskar, played by Kare Hedebrant, many lovely letters , something I admire greatly, as writing and expressing yourself through words in general is a slowly dying art. She said: To flee is life, to linger is death, Love Eli. The close-shot camera angles certainly captured the children's longing and love for each other , and the icy, wistful snowy mountains were a cinematic playground! The soundtrack was certainly a distinctive and ineffable melodic score by Johan Soderqvist.

I found the title of the film also indescribably faultless because in life you should be careful whom you let know and share all of you. There are many you can smile with, you can share with, you can give love to; but only 'the right one' will be the one worthy to have all of your heart and secrets. Only 'the right one' is worthy to feel the intoxicating and blinding light and warmth of your inner sanctum; that which is guarded by the gentle and innocent being who lives inside of you...

** Ahhh...rare cinematic delight -- Go Sweden! :))

Thursday, April 21, 2011

After the Blizzard

After the will bloom.
The river still flows.
The trees stand still.
And after the blizzard...your resilience is evident.
For you move forward...this time with the wisest of smiles...
No, they can't keep you down darling... you are unique and nothing is impossible with your strength and faith. Keep moving forward, patience is bitter baby, but the glistening fruit, ever so sweet! :)

Bless up!



I know what you're thinking. What an odd title for a blog! But never mind that; think about how interesting this read is going to be. I'm learning much about sounds lately. Not that I'm un-aware of the already fascinating and soothing sounds already surrounding me; like birds chirping the morning and afternoon periods, or the jolly Mexican food truck that honks his 'song-of-a-horn' in my neighbourhood, or the sound of footsteps, and whispers and the hum of refrigerators or hummingbird's wings. Yes; there is a hummingbird that lives near my balcony, such a lovely little thing. J The sounds I'm speaking about are more of the sounds that people make.

I've been noticing lately because of my Improv and acting classes, that there are cultural sounds people make. In other countries, outside America, and mine included, we tend to show appreciation, delight or give praise by applauding or gracefully using words to express ourselves. Here in America, I realize that they tend to make many sounds to express themselves in different ways; by screaming, shouting, yelling, or grunting. Just look at how the audience on MTV or a game show greets the invited guest; or perhaps how they celebrate victory at the Olympics; or still yet depict different emotions on any given day. There may be applause, but most times added onto that there are huge amounts of squealing involved also.

I am finding that in my classes, both my teachers are encouraging me to make more sounds with my scenes and I must admit it is a challenge for me to make sounds willingly for extra added effects. Even though, I believe there isn't one right way to express praise or emotion; some bowing gracefully, or giving applause I find this new technique acceptable enough and I understand that to stand out or make a lasting impression in Hollywood auditions, I must venture to make sounds, to add that extra liveliness to casting director and agents.

The journey continues, and I'm learning so much…It is alright to scream uncontrollably like a group of drunk fraternity boys! Just another tool to add to my acting/film tool-box for when I need them most. J

Sunday, April 17, 2011


There comes a time in one's life when they've been drenched by so many storms, and have fallen and gotten dirty and dusty, and been mocked and ridiculed and tainted beyond repair so many times. It doesn't mean that these things end. But there comes a time, when the person going through so much adversity is raised up and spun in light, emerging from all that pain to not only withstand future calamity but also emerging into a beautiful butterfly, into a life renewed with promise, hope and understanding; the mind finally becoming an ally, the sight blossoming with truth.

We must remember to be honest with ourselves and stand up for what we believe in, for only in truth can we prosper. People go about as if they have no conscience, and pretend as though the world revolves around them and their problems, but we will only realize that it is through sharing and giving of our time, effort, feelings and energy, are we able to achieve true lessons and fulfillment, one that no gadget on this earthly plane could ever come close to satisfying.

So break free of your cocoon, that safe place/haven you stay wrapped in because of fear of the unknown. You must not be afraid of leaving the shore, for you will never be able to discover new lands. Spend too much time procrastinating on speaking your true feelings, and you just might miss the sail boat, with that elegant 'island' girl on board. J

The Ambitious Violet

I'm so grateful for my hospice patients; they bring such inspiration and light to my life. My Dadsy bought me a lovely book last Christmas, which I'm still enjoying and digesting slowly called: The Treasured Writings of Kahlil Gibran (one of my favourite authors) who wrote the best-seller The Prophet. One of the stories found within was picked out by one of my hospice patients last week, which I hadn't gotten to as yet. After reading this story to her, we got into a lovely discussion about what it meant. Perhaps it can bring about discussion with you as well. Enjoy J

The Ambitious Violet

There was a beautiful and fragrant violet who lived placidly amongst her friends, and swayed happily amidst the other flowers in a solitary garden. One morning, as her crown was embellished with beads of dew, she lifted her head and looked about; she saw a tall and handsome rose standing proudly and reaching high into space, like a burning torch upon an emerald lamp.

The violet opened her blue lips and said, "What an unfortunate am I among these flowers, and how humble is the position I occupy in this presence! Nature has fashioned me to short and poor… I live very close to the earth and cannot raise my head toward the blue sky, or turn my face to the sun, as the roses do."

And the rose heard her neighbour's words; she laughed and commented, "How strange is your talk! You are fortunate, and yet you cannot understand your fortune. Nature has bestowed upon you fragrance and beauty which she did not grant to any other… Cast aside your thoughts and be contented, and remember that he who humbles himself will be exalted, and he who exalts himself will be crushed."

The violet answered, "You are consoling me because you have that which I crave…You seek to embitter me with the meaning that you are great. …How painful is the preaching of the fortunate to the heart of the miserable! And how severe is the strong when he stands as advisor among the weak!"

And Nature heard the conversation of the violet and the rose; she approached and said, "What has happened to you, my daughter violet? You have been humble and sweet in all your deeds and words. Has greed entered your heart and numbed your senses?" In a pleading voice, the violet answered her, saying, "Oh great and merciful mother, full of love and sympathy, I beg you, with all my heart and soul, to grand my request and allow me to be a rose for one day."

And Nature responded, "You know not what you are seeking; you are unaware of the concealed disaster behind your blind ambition. If you were a rose you would be sorry, and repentance would avail you but naught." The violet insisted, "Change me into a tall rose, for I wish to lift my head high with pride; and regardless of my fate, it will be my own doing." Nature yielded, saying, "Oh ignorant and rebellious violet, I will grand your request. But if calamity befalls you, your complaint must be to yourself."

And Nature stretched forth her mysterious and magic fingers and touched the roots of the violet, who immediately turned into a tall rose, rising above all other flowers in the garden.

At eventide the sky became thick with black clouds, and the raging elements disturbed the silence of existence with thunder, and commenced to attack the garden, sending forth a great rain and strong winds. The tempest tore the branches and uprooted the plants and broke the stems of the tall flowers, sparing only the little ones who grew close to the friendly earth. That solitary garden suffered greatly from the belligerent skies, and when the storm calmed and the sky cleared, all the flowers were laid waste and none of them had escaped the wrath of Nature except the clan of small violets, hiding by the wall of the garden.

Having lifted her head and viewed the tragedy of the flowers and trees, one of the violet maidens smiled happily and called to her companions, saying, "See what the tempest has done to the haughty flowers!" Another violet said, "We are small, and live close to the earth, but we are safe from the wrath of the skies." And a third one added, "Because we are poor in height the tempest is unable to subdue us."

At that moment the queen of violets saw by her side the converted violet, hurled to earth by the storm and distorted upon the wet grass like a limp solider in a battle field. The queen of the violets lifted her head and called to her family, saying, "Look, my daughters, and meditate upon that which Greed has done to the violet who became a proud rose for one hour. Let the memory of this scene be a reminder of your good fortune."

And the dying rose moved and gathered the remnants of her strength, and quietly said, "You are contented and meek dullards; I have never feared the tempest. Yesterday I, too, was satisfied and contented with Life, but Contentment has acted as a barrier between my existence and the tempest of Life, confining me to a sickly and sluggish peace and tranquility of mind. I could have lived the same life you are living now by clinging with fear to the earth. …I could have waited for winter to shroud me with snow and deliver me to Death, who will surely claim all violets…I am happy now because I have proceed outside my little world into the mystery of the Universe…something which you have not yet done. I could have overlooked Greed, whose nature is higher than mine, but as I hearkened to the silence of the night, I heard the heavenly world talking to this earthly world, saying, 'Ambition beyond existence is the essential purpose of our being.' At that moment my spirit revolted and my heart longed for a position higher than my limited existence. I realized that the abyss cannot hear the song of the stars, and at that moment I commenced fighting against my smallness and craving for that which did not belong to me, until my rebelliousness turned into a great power, and my longer into a creating will…Nature, who is the great object of our deeper dreams, granted my request and changed me into a rose with her magic fingers."

The rose became silent for a moment, and in a weakening voice, mingled with pride and achievement, she said, "I have lived one hour as a proud rose; I have existed for a time like a queen; I have looked at the Universe from behind the eyes of the rose; I have heard the whisper of the firmament through the ears of the rose and touched the folds of Light's garment with rose petals. Is there any here who can claim such honour?" Having thus spoken, she lowered her head, and with a choking voice she gasped, "I shall die now, for my soul has attained its goal. I have finally extended my knowledge to a world beyond the narrow cavern of my birth. This is the design of Life…This is the secret of Existence." Then the rose quivered, slowly folded her petals, and breathed her last with a heavenly smile upon her lips…a smile of fulfillment of hope and purpose in Life…a smile of victory…a God's smile.

My thoughts:

I found this piece to be striking with lovely imagery, metaphors, with many ethical and moral questions brought to light. Should we remain content with what we have without listening to the desire deep within our hearts and sought out greatness beyond the realms of where we are from? Or shall we leap ahead following our dreams, leaving the comfort of our companions and those who are like we are. And who is right or wrong to want more, or to be satisfied with where they are in life? And if after attaining greatness we fall; does this mean we were to stay put, in ignorant bliss? Or instead reach our fullest potential and explore the realms of dreams realized, whether we were meant to go there or not? And who is to say that each flower/person is different. Perhaps it's already pre-ordained for some to leave the comfort of the nest to fall and rise and in turn be completely God-like in achieving delight beyond our wildest dreams. J

The Grid

** From the film TRON ; a much prolific story-line could have been done, but the soundtrack for this movie -- phenomenal. Go: Daft Punk

Picnic at Hanging Rock

I'd been recommended this film a few years back by one of my ever-peculiar yet brilliant Kiwi friends. Even though he was born and raised in New Zealand, he had married an Australian and although the culture is strangely different, he identified with many things Aussie as well. I love a good scare and took him up on his suggestion a couple nights ago. It was nothing that I expected, but everything I'd hoped it'd be until the very end. Apparently it was based on a true story; set in the early 1900's and was made in 1975 directed by Peter Weir. It was the first Australian film to reach international audiences and received much acclaim for both cinematic and Australian history. Although I do not find Sydney or New Zealand to be one of my favourite visited places; I do have respect for the director, actors, and vision of bringing forth good film and story.

I especially loved the 18th/19th century style of clothing worn throughout the film; the high necklines and puffy sleeves, A-line skirts, handkerchiefs and gloves. The story also was a compelling one; I found it similar to great Stephen King films which audiences are always able to identify with, as it begins ordinary and believable, until that one thing takes us to a climax, and because of the unknown, fear is instilled within us. A pretty good film all-in-all; beautiful actresses, lovely music and thought-provoking in that we really wonder, what did happen to those girls on St. Valentine's Day. I wished though, that the ending was more settling or concluded better, so as to not leave an enormous gap within the viewers minds' as to what might have happened to the missing girls. Even though in reality, there are sometimes no answers, I believe it is the writer and directors job, if they are telling a story and they wish to convey a thought, message or change; then they should have better ways or ideas of completing what they started or set out to do.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

The Virgin Suicides

Its one thing being born to a mother set decorator/artist, Eleanor Coppola and to a father director Francis Ford Coppola; it's another thing to be related to noted actor Nicolas Cage, and still yet, having the opportunity to intern with Chanel at the tender age of 15 years old. Sofia Coppola has a charmed life, without a doubt, and despite being surrounded by success, she made success of her own, by beginning her own clothing line called Milkfed, which is sold exclusively in Japan, not to mention her scores of award nominated and winning films. Sofia Coppola is a model, fashion designer, screenwriter, director, actress and producer. This set list of accomplishments doesn't come altogether that often, in fact doesn't come altogether and recognizable for a woman at that.

I've rather enjoyed many of her other films, 'Lost in Translation' and 'Marie Antoinette', to name a few, but The Virgin Suicides, even though one of her earlier films, still I found to be pretty enjoyable. Perhaps it was the silly, yet bubbly sound effects, the dimples in Kirsten Dunst's smile, the way the light streamed through the trees, or simply the narrators' matter of factish yet warm voice.

The Virgin Suicides was set in the 1970's in Michigan and is a dark and morbid tale of 5 sisters who because of strict parents led up to literal house-arrest, believing that they could protect the girls from the world. All girls, died virgins, except of course, Kirsten Dunst, who had that dimply, mischievous smile. I believe it was entitled Virgin Suicides, not harping on the fact that the girls were indeed virgins, but because in actuality, they were all only girls, and did not live a full life.

Despite the heavy content, it came across rather light and painless because of the narrator's story-telling throughout. None of the actors had very much dialogue, so the entire movie had a dream-like quality to it. I am positive had there been more depth or dialogue between the sisters and other characters in the film, the audience would have been able to identify with emotions more strongly, in turn creating greater reaction and connection to the girls after they had passed. Because of Sofia Coppola's chosen dreamy technique in the film, she was able to keep it mysterious yet inviting, as opposed to nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat entertainment.


I tend to find myself in sometimes rather un-savory situations, certainly not intentionally but surely because of lack of luster or strength to truly express my "No's". You see, I expect that everyone should respect one another; it is one of the wisest and greatest virtues in my book. For if you treat people the way you wish to be treated, the world would be a much friendlier and fair place. Apparently I missed the memo in that the world today, doesn't work that way; in turn, for my lack of love at filing paperwork, I become stuck in sticky situations with people who adore disrespecting and using me and my energy till the very small amounts of meat I've got on my bones, is pretty much sucked dry! Arrgggh! The torment!

I was told the other day by one of my new and dear friends, that if I was any gentler or polite, I'd be pretty much a sponge or an amoeba! I realized promptly that this wasn't a compliment, and however harsh was said with utmost love and absolutely necessary. People will take advantage of you or cross boundaries and limitations if you don't set any for yourself. I knew she was right; and it's not that I didn't see that, it's just that I always prefer to give others the benefit of the doubt.

Many people believe they can read one another like an open book. They make assessments and judgments based on what their parents taught them, on the experiences they've had, good or bad, and of course from what they view on film and the television. They shuffle you into boxes or brackets or quotation marks whenever they deem necessary and most times they haven't begun yet to scratch the surface. We're all guilty of judging and making assumptions, but should we really automatically do this without first giving the person a chance?

We are all reflections of one another, along the same path at different points in life, and despite a person's demeanor, personality or physical attributes, we know very little about that person's belief system, childhood structures or life ambitions. We must remember that what we give of ourselves, we receive; which takes me back to my philosophy of respect being an enormous virtue. Treat people the way you wish to be treated. Period.

Assumptions and Ego, get you nowhere in life, except disappointed. Be open to the lessons available to you throughout your journey here, think of it like a University degree, and each course you take, despite the deadlines, boring teachers and the adventure of scales, algorithms and thrilling adjectives, the more you challenge yourself, the better your CV will look. For once you do the right things, and listen to that voice within, which always ring true, then sure enough when you're in that interview before entering the next stage after your time here, you'll have impressive character and heart, and there's only one that can judge you based on the sincerities of your heart. J

Just someone to talk to

For you I miss you...Te amo mi capitan :))

xx - waiting for you...patiently :))

Monday, April 4, 2011

Pride Begone

While hiking in the beautiful 'Pacific Palisades' in Malibu California the other day, with my visiting and insightful French friend, it dawned on me how self-centered we humans can be. We were admiring the mountains at one point, in between heading steadily towards the top, as we were told there would be a lovely water-fall found at the end. And he shared with me an experience he and his friends had while hiking a mountain in Geneva, Switzerland; he said that it was there for his first time he had actually heard his echo in a mountain, and not only once, but 7 times. This story stayed with me; I found it quite extraordinary to not only hear yourself once or twice but actually 7 times in a row, and as he described surrounding them. I wondered also, what did he shout so that he could identify his echo, and he had said that it was simply laughter. This story not only brought a smile to my face, but got my imaginative writing-gears churning as well. J

You see, it is one thing to love yourself, to have self-worth, to have self-respect, and to treat your body and mind healthy and positively; but then there's the other side of the spectrum, which some, adopt mostly or fully quite easily, those attributes of arrogance, self-centeredness, pride, and lack of thoughtfulness. The prior are encouraged, but the latter should be greatly disheartened.

Despite mankind being able to accomplish, build and create many great technologies and accomplish outstanding feats, we still must remember that we are not 'all', or the most significant beings on the planet. We do not 'rule the world' or have control over all things and we must remember that just because we are wonderful, the world does not revolve around us, and everything isn't either about us. It is a big world, and an even larger Universe and we are not the creators of the grander scheme of things. So when you begin thinking, "Why is this happening to me?" or "Why are people doing this to me?" We must take a step back and in turn ask ourselves, "Why am I reacting this way, because of this situation?" or "Why am I allowing something to completely envelope my life and make me upset?" Always try to see the brighter side, don't over-exaggerate, or over-react, which we are many times guilty of. Don't take things so personally, for other's have their own feats as well.

Remember that we are all connected, like the rivers that flow into the vast ocean, and despite our differences we are all reflections of each other at different learning stages through-out our life. You are no better than your fellow brother or sister and to think otherwise is to be judgmental and downright haughty. Therefore, let go of your pride and say how you truly feel, speak the truth and trust in the truth that is given in return; for you receive what you give (not necessarily from the same people – so never expect that either). Don't ever doubt the Universe/God with a question mark, where he has put a full-stop. For, we for the most part are blind, un-willing to be open to the truth which we don't usually see straight away. We must be humble enough to be guided along our journey in life. When you struggle against the truth, you will always be miserable; it is better to walk one step at a time, at a steady pace with faith than instead violently swimming upstream, almost drowning to say, "Look at me, I'm doing what I want!" The problem here is…what 'you want to do', and 'what you need to do'. We all have strong desires, but not always for the right reasons. Find out what it is you 'need' to do versus what you 'want' to do; and usually when you begin doing what you 'need' to do, you end up doing what it is you 'want' to do! Be of service, and find out how you are able to give back to your fellow man through the desires you hold in your heart. Not only will this bring you deep-rooted satisfaction and fulfillment, but also joy in knowing that you will be accomplishing both love for yourself as well as your fellow man; being aware of the reflections in your life. J

And in conclusion, if you happen to not get any of this [ha-ha] or find it dull or un-interesting, remember to just laugh at yourself. Laugh at yourself every day, don't take yourselves too seriously, you can only do so much, and you are exactly where you're supposed to be in this moment of time. Look in the mirror and make a silly face, enjoy a baby's babble, and old man's slow tale, or witness a dog simply wagging not only his tail, but his entire bum! J Know that you're surrounded by your heavenly team, who's always a step ahead of you, only wishing for you to reach out to them so that they can continue to spread goodwill and joy to you, or perhaps simply echoes of laughter, to remind you that they're there for you always as well! J