Sunday, January 31, 2010

It's OK to cry

Okay readers, so this is my last post for January 2010! Hope you enjoy...

I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with superheroes. Batman (my favourite), Superman, Spiderman, Wonderwoman, Storm, Raven, Invisible Woman, Ironman, Hulk, Flash, Aquaman, Silver Surfer ecetera. Well they are indestructible, most times, they fight the villains and protect the community.

I happened to grow up next to a superhero. Her name was 'Mummy'. Yes, my very own mother is 'Superwoman' :)) She was certainly a tough cookie. She was unswerving, strong and if option A didn't work, there would be option B. I've only seen my mother cry once. It was at the funeral of our local parish priest. They say he committed suicide... He was well loved in the community, so to find him swinging in his home by a rope, came as a shock to everyone. We didn't talk about that incident very much, but I remember that underneath her snazzy sunglasses, I did indeed see tears flow...

That day, I saw a softer side of my mother, something I'm not sure I was supposed to see. She raised my siblings and I quite tenacious to say the least. My sister followed excellently in her footsteps and me, I always had a softer side. Not until I came to the dating world or acting classes though, did I realize how much I hid my tears. For you see, to me it signified a sign of weakness...of vulnerability. But I found out, it isn't so at all.

My acting coach said that it signified strength, and that it in fact helped you heal. The others
told me that it was okay to feel, to let loose, and that they'd do the protecting (shaking my head and smiling). But you know what; they are in fact quite right. Crying is what your soul has been waiting for. After you expell this emotion, life returns...

Most 'self-help' books and 'good-living' type books swear that you should be 'happy' all the time. That you can have all you want, if you just keep happy. Yes; happiness is such a wonderful feeling. It would be nice to be there always, or is it? One can not be happy always with skeletons in their closet, or with past issues that need healing. Tears help cleanse the soul. If you need to scream, then scream, if you need to cry, then do that as well.

It's good to succumb to your emotions, but it is even better when you are in control of them, and call on them when you need them most. For actors, when you need to portray a certain emotion to help paint a story. Once you've called on them and are able to be free of it, you should be grateful. Every day; for no matter your complaint or problem, remember that somebody is suffering more than you...


Saturday, January 30, 2010

Mr. Sensitive

I've decided that in the beginning of February I shall aim to make my blogs more personal; or perhaps more with a specific purpose/direction. So far, it's been many random things, but I hope to have a following and to also ignite conversation and spread positivity. I know that I can write about 'touchy' subjects like Politics, Race and Religion, and perhaps in the future I may; but it's also wise to stay away from those things, because no matter what you say, someone will have a different point-of-view. This is infact healthy, but I shant start just yet.

Let's see...

I've entitled this one Mr. Sensitive. :))

Has anyone seen the darling film BEDAZZLED with the adorable and multi-talented Brendan Frasier and the ever so foxy Elizabeth Hurley? Such a great message, and how funny the different circumstances in which he tries to recieve the love of another. I think its like that most time for love. Love, love, love. I suppose I speak of it now as I'm bombarded with advertisements and red hearts everywhere I turn. Valentine's Day is just around the corner. This occassion can be quite a lovely one; of course it's great to admire and show affection all year round, but a day to solidify loved ones is nice too. On the flip-side, it can also be called 'Single Awareness Day' for those poor souls with no-one to call their own. I say; buy your own chocolate and teddy bears! Love yourself, if you don't, then by George, who will?

Back to Mr. Sensitive. :))

I have actually met him, yes luckily Brendan Frasier I was able to serve on a flight, but I'm speaking about the 'real' live, Mr. Sensitive. What a sweetie! Or so I thought. Some men are so good at what they do; being charming that is, and sadly many girls fall for it. I think you should never assume, or judge a person. Always give them the benifit of the doubt, but do so slowly. For as soon as you fall, for the 'sometimes' wrong person/ excellent charmer up-to-no-good it is then that they evade you. :(( He seemed really do-able [hahah] jk; I mean really genuine. He knew how to cry, and said he'd nurse me back to a speedy recovery once I'd had my oral surgery. I've heard horror stories about getting your wisdom teeth out. One of my dear girlfriends said, "Ah but darling, you despair so quickly..." And perhaps I do, but do you really blame me? To lose him before the damned' surgery too! :P

I'll leave you with this wonderful passage by one of my favourite poets, Rumi...

Hold on the skirt of His grace, for suddenly He will flee; but

do not draw Him as an arrow, for He will flee from the bow.

What images does He play at, what tricks contrive! If He is

present in form, He will flee by the way of spirit.

Seek him in the sky, and He shines from the water like the

moon; enter the water, and He flees up to heaven.

Call Him from the placeless and He points you to place; seek

Him in place and He flees to the placeless.

Is not the bird of your imagination fleet as an arrow in

existence? Know that for a certainty the Absolute flees from the


I will flee from this and that out of fear (not out of weariness)

because my gracious Beauty flees from this and that.

Fleet of foot as the wind am I for love of the Rose, not the

rose that for fear of the autumn wind flees from the garden.

When it sees an attempt at speaking, His name flees so that

you cannot say, "So-and-so will flee."

He will flee from you so that if you draw His image, the

image will fly from the tablet, the expression will flee from

the heart.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Surrender :))


I'm learning more and more to "surrender" in life.
In other words, ''letting go''. We have been brainwashed to believe that 'Hard Work Brings Reward', when in fact I believe that constant proactiveness will eventually bring a reward, in whatever you do in life. Be it school-work, occupation, love etc. What you put in, you will reap.

However, working hard at something; is different in that, you can be doing it the wrong way, or perhaps you may not be ready yet. There might be something you need to go thru first or experience prior to you attaining your ambitions/rewards/dreams. In that case, you need to 'let go' or 'surrender'.

A dear, ''new'' friend in my life, told me that he was trying hard at something and nothing seemed to work. He became frustrated, but still had his dream. He said when he stopped thinking about it, that it manifested itself greater than ever. Now he doesn't try that hard.

This doesn't mean you should sit around all day, and do nothing with your life, but just simply, do your best, and trust that the universe will deliver. ;) Surrender and recieve what is due to you! :))

That's my thought for the day! :D
! Jair

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I always come up with quotes, but most times never think they're clever enough to write down.
But today, one came to me ... it isn't the most snazzy, but it means so much to me. You see, 2 years ago, I lost a great friend. I lost many friends, but the way I lost Johnny was so sudden and tragic. He was my flight mate, and was the only one to spend my birthday with me that year. How sweet he was. We were stuck in the airport together, and we entertained ourselves...

He would always invite me to Vietnam, that was his home-land, but unfortunately we would never make it there. He died a couple months later. I'd seen him a week before he passed on. He said we should 'hang out'. He smiled so much :))

He got a trip to Lihue for work, but never returned ... they say he had drowned. The other flight attendants said that the night before, he said he was scared because he felt like he was going to die. The next day he did indeed die. I found out on my way to work, I was flying somewhere, somewhere domestic, and there was a board with his photo and name posted on it. I thought he must have been awarded for his excellent work... Alas, it was not so...

I've been afraid of swimming in Hawai'i; and still don't trust those waves entirely. I am from the Caribbean; our seas are warmer and calmer there. But I still yearn to surf, I'll make it out there one day, in the Pacific cold will happen.

But here is the quote:

"Life is a beach; sacrifice keeps you from drowning." - Jair Ananda Massiah

Take it to mean, whatever you wish, but for me, it means so much ... Thank-you Johnny ;)

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Can't wait to travel this year on my days off --- so many lovely places to see; and so what if I see it alone! :))
"His name was Nigel, and his eyes were magical like fire. I ended up having to work with him side by side for the next 16 days of shooting. I marveled at him from near and afar; it wasn't his looks that entirely attracted me, it was the way he did things. He was always present, always attentive, and he had the gift of capturing beauty within the camera lenses. There was no telling what other powers he posessed; and if he ever saw me. Because all the boys saw only a girl with golden hair and a big smile. She worked in wardrobe and her name was Cheryl. I was the girl, the boys saw as a friend. I got dirty with them, and perspired tremendously in the hot sun. I wore baggy clothes and laughed at their lewd jokes. But whenever Cheryl came out into the sun from her cool escapes of the dressing rooms; time stopped, and she seemed to float on air with her fancy garments. At this point in time, even I had to stop what I was doing and watch. I certainly couldn't compete with that, for even my boy with the magical eyes was in awe of her, and I had to accept that......

.....I had only a week's worth of clothing, and I tried to recycle it the best way I could to impress him. Alas it was in vain, as every, single day Cheryl turned heads with her bright, glossy, fancy and elaborate articles of clothing.....

.....I did not have golden hair or emerald eyes. My eyes were black and deep like the Indian ocean, and my hair, a curly mess on most days, which I liked to hide by wearing hats......"

Excerpts from 'SWEET SWEET TNT 2' by Jair Ananda Massiah
"For kisses from the fairest of girls
And the very truth which leave his lips
Only bring different illusions
Of the void you need to fill your wits

And the games that we play each day
Many of us use to keep us sane
Bring with it lines that gash our face
The tainting and demise of our human race

But dare I say 'I love you'
That I won't be mad at you my friend
That I understand why you must make this journey
That unfortunately, it is a circle without end"

Excerpt from 'NOMAD' by Jair Ananda Massiah