One can gain knowledge from books, but I find that simply sitting next to a complete stranger, one can gain the wisest and most heartrending of insights. It was at such a meeting that I expanded on my awareness. Waiting for the bus, in the wee hours of the morning, I sat next to a stranger. He was an older man, dressed grimily and he greeted me with a smile and offered a seat next to him. I wasn't really in the mood for talking; I felt a bit down, not really because I had a long day, but because I had felt defeated yet again even though I tried to do the right thing. This man was from the Philippines; I hadn't had the opportunity to visit as yet, but I knew a great deal about his country
He started off by asking me if I had to work the following day. I frowned and explained that I would be 'on-call' and hadn't flown today either. He smiled and told me at least I got paid for the hours I was at the airport; he exclaimed knowingly, "It's NOT all about the money!" He said that he had the following 4 days off, and that Thursday there was the Lakers game, Friday the World Cup and then on Saturday another Lakers game, he chuckled to himself; his wrinkled nose folding in and out as he laughed. He repeated to me, "It's NOT all about the money!" He continued, "It's about time spent with family and friends, it's about nature and about enjoying life, it's about happiness and about health. He said Americans were all about work, work, work, and then working some over-time too. He called them a sue-happy country, and that for them it was all about the money!
I smiled at him and nodded, because I had heard 2 stories that day about people suing companies for the silliest things. One incident was of a woman who purchased a cup of coffee at McDonalds, she went to her table, sat down and accidentally (I would assume/hope) spilled the coffee on her leg. She sued the company saying that the coffee was too hot; McDonalds had to pay a whopping $250,000 because of it. And then earlier this morning, a policeman on motorcycle collided with a car on the infamous 405 highway, and the policeman was in critical condition, and the other driver was injured but said that he was going to sue because of the car accident. It made me really wonder about the people living here. My Pilipino stranger told me that although he had been living here in the United States for many years he always tried to visit home at least once a year; to get a good dose of his culture and his people and remember his serious upbringing.
He told me he was married for 25 years, and asked me if I was married too. I shook my head and smiled, the older I got, and more often I'd hear that question asked. Many of my friends were already married, some already popping out babies too. I told him he was lucky to have a companion, someone to share with and speak about his day. He agreed, he said that after all the sex, if you didn't have companionship, you'd have nothing. I agreed; several times I'd try to develop something like this, and always something seemed to squash my vision; it was as though I'd been doomed for love; but I knew it was just not the right time yet; because every morning I woke up, I would be one day closer to that special bond with my equal.
He told me, "You're a pretty girl, tall, good job, an education, you don't have to worry!" I was laughing hysterically in my head; because this night I didn't see it that simply. I knew that I shouldn't worry, but I did most times anyway; trait handed down from my father I suppose. He overcame it though and for many years now he was the master of his thoughts; I was still working on mastering this craft. The man went on to tell me that I should always take things slow, never be in a rush, that he dated his wife for 2 years before he got married.
"Marrying an American can also be tricky!" he declared, explaining to me that for them it was more about instant gratification and after getting sex, they are ready for another person. They do not try to work out differences, compromise or listen to each other, they automatically think; if this is too hard, then let's just get a divorce.
He taught me of the 3 rings in marriage.
The Engagement Ring
The Wedding Ring and
The Suffer-Ring.
We laughed heartily together at this. He said without trust, faithfulness and communication, then there is no marriage, no relationship, and no hope. The bus pulled up shortly after this. I probably will never see this man again; but it is nights like these, when things seem daunting and cheerless that the easiest thing to do is to sit next to a stranger and have your energy restored. J
