Time to Elevate our Minds & Hearts

For the WorldCup 2018, now that all the African country teams have been eliminated. I’ve been inundated with memes, posts and articles of how the remaining teams are conveniently using players who have African heritage to win in the finals. These articles try to remind me of how great Africa is  as a continent, and to never forget what “some” of our forefathers went through as slaves brought over to work and settle in neighbouring 1st world lands. But this kind of talk and topic has been prevalent for quite some time before too. “Wakanda Forever”, “Black Heritage Month”, and the list goes on and on and on. 

I have no problem with others trying to empower others to be better. But I do have a problem with the same “black people” conveniently using their “blackness” when it suits them. Aren’t these same celebrities wearing, supporting and being paid by white-owned companies? If the African WorldCup teams were so good, then why aren’t they in the finals? It seems to me, that including players of “all” races makes a team stronger. Or perhaps, just good players and good coaching? I am not saying that slavery and hate crimes didn’t and don’t exist, but have you really took a look into our history books? Who exchanged slaves for money in Africa? And aren’t we full of several examples of hate in our history? From the Holocaust stories, right down to the gays and transgenders?

I am a black woman, married to a white man. And that shouldn’t matter. There are people who want to change, and are making the change. I’m tired of us pointing fingers, and speaking in the past, when we are all guilty of judging others and serving hate. It’s time we stop being part of the problem and work towards a solution and more importantly ‘healing’. As India Arie so aptly sang, “I am not the color of my skin…” We are so much more than  our hue, and country for that matter. And when we truly realize that, it will be when all colors of the human race, this homosapien species can finally live in Peace. 

I have experienced hate not only from white people, but people of all colors and believe it or not, from people who look just like me too! Why don’t we hear or speak about that? Shouldn’t that be the first issue that we should fix? Within our own races we try to separate and hurt each other. This topic makes me think of ‘vegans’ who still drive diesel vehicles and use Air Conditioning, and chastise someone who may not be able to afford or been educated to eat otherwise. Who are we to pick and choose what’s best for anyone? If we are so ‘Afro-centric’, shouldn’t we all move back to Africa? How about stop straightening our hair and bleaching our skin. The problem that we have lies much deeper than a mixed-race or predominantly black football European team. 

Being born and raised in the Caribbean, because of history, I automatically have many strains of race flowing through my veins, and living there I was lucky to be exposed to many people, cultures, religions and races. Yes, hate and racism exists there too. But I also learnt of inclusion, celebration and tolerance. I choose not to be a victim, I choose to focus on being resilient and lift up the values worth remembering. I think it’s something we should try to incorporate world-wide. This problem won’t be fixed overnight. I would be naive to think so; but I think it’s imperative we stop generalizing and supporting hate of all kinds, and be more loving and inclusive of everyone. 

Remember, our beliefs shape our reality and our aim in life should never be trying to make others feel guilty or break each other down, because of our history and our differences. Rather, we should be respecting and learning from our history, our experiences, and educating and encouraging positive change. Finding ways of healing to move forward in a hopefully one day, color-blind world. 

Peace

**Let them talk...let them spy...you know the truth...and you'll be obliged...to take part in the destiny...you've seen every time you close your eyes...ENJOY!

Grace

The clock strikes twelve and all of a sudden you’re whisked away from your dreams and placed back into reality; similar to the infamous fairy-tale character ‘Cinderella’. But because your dreams evaporate doesn't mean that it’ll never come true! This is a time when everyone wishes to make change, to start fresh, to become a better person; and most times we fall flat on our face within a couple of days, weeks, or months.

Change doesn't come instantly; it is something that takes practice, hard-work, and determination. And just because it doesn't come easy, doesn't mean that it’s impossible or that you ‘can’t’ do it. ‘Can’t’ should not be a part of your vocabulary; you know the saying, “It is better to love and have love lost than to have never loved at all…” Well similarly you should keep telling yourself, “It is better to try than to never try at all.” Would you feel better staying in a rut, being helpless or hopeless or would you feel better at least trying to make positive change? The answer should be simple, because just shifting your current mind-set to a positive one immediately you begin attracting positive energy and things into your life! J

Grace is fluidity. It is elegantly adapting and moving in an attractive way. We must look to this New Year with grace. Using grace to face whatever comes our way. Life = Adventure. And adventure is always unpredictable and spontaneous! We need to have goodwill and grace when times are nice and when they become sensationally awful. When you dwell in a mindful, loving, and sincere space, divine light and blessings of love, joy and beauty are always sent your way. Therefore nothing is impossible! And change, resolutions or shifting slowly but surely to your esteemed dream, no matter how great is ultimately possible.

Cinderella may only be a story for some; but I know of several modern-day and real Cinderella’s being given the charm, grace and will-power of a budding princess. If things were really meant to be easy, then she would never have to hear the clock strike twelve. She would never have to lose her glass slipper. Everything would have materialized by the touch of a wand and she’d live happily ever after; but even in her story there were ups and downs. Remember darlings that you can guarantee sunshine, comfort and peace after a turbulent storm; it is the law of the Universe. So then, believing that you must have control in all instances in life, will only lead to disaster; as an alternative let no impatience or despair cloud your vision. Be graceful, have faith and your resolutions and dreams will take precedence at the most perfect of times. J

Bless-up!

Jair

Flight

If the thought of returning to work soon, after a remarkably long and needed break isn’t scary enough; if the thought of returning to work and your job happens to be a flight attendant isn’t scary enough then certainly watching the opening scene of ‘Flight’ starring Denzel Washington as pilot of your next flight, is enough to send your nerves in a tizzy!

Written by John Gatins and directed by Robert Zemeckis this 2012 film opened quite joltingly! I’d heard good reviews and not so good reviews but here I was experiencing it on my own accord and it was better than I had expected. This film wasn’t just about a pilot and it wasn’t just about a plane malfunctioning; its content was sensationally heavier. Who is the most fascinating person you ‘never’ met? It’s about realizing your faults and the people you’ve hurt. About accepting them, and making a change for the better even if it means being found out and risking losing it all.

With a $31 million USD budget it’s easy to see why the special effects and cinematography were first-rate but it’s the script/dialogue and monologue pieces that I loved most. The scene in the stairwell with the gaunt young cancer patient played by James Badge Dale whom you may remember from ‘The Departed’, ‘Shame’ and ‘Grey’; his performance was startlingly deep and touching and in my opinion certainly supportive-actor nomination worthy.

Oscar-winner Denzel plays the deportment of egotistical and confident pilot well, and the audience feels for him as they follow him in his ups and downs and internal troubles as they unfold. Whether you fly, work in the aviation industry or have never set foot on a plane, this film speaks to us all, as it shows the dangers involved with abuse of substances and learning how to live in moderation and shifting from a worried, anxious being to a free and clear mind. J

Who Moved My Cheese?

Rummaging around in my father’s library I came along many biographies of great men like Mandela, Gandhi, some books on Biology and Chemistry, scores of Stephen King and also many spiritual books. I looked further and in a small crevice was a neat and small book called ‘Who Moved My Cheese?’ it looked like light reading and so I gave it a whirl. J

What a remarkable and uplifting parable-type story about change that can be applied to all aspects of your life, be it business or personal. It spoke about going past your fears and enjoying the adventure of life and explained that change continually occurred, whether one expected it or not. Written by Dr. Spencer Johnson, he used 4 characters with different characteristics and attitudes, called: Sniff (who could smell change early), Scurry (who goes into action), Hem (who resists change) and Haw (who learns to adapt to change). He explained that the fear that we build up in our mind is worse than the situation that actually exists and that we should not take ourselves too seriously and laugh when things don’t go right.

Life isn’t fair; and we aren’t owed anything! Therefore we need to be strong, take it lightly and move with the flow; in other words, adapt quickly instead of feeling sorry for ourselves. Change usually is a good thing.

Some critics have knocked the book a great deal, saying things like it was too simplistic and Johnson made them feel like infants; others felt that it couldn’t be applied to their lives. I disagree strongly and indeed enjoy the fact that it was simply written; because in this way it can easily reach the masses and not only be shared with scholars but also even children, and if we are able to share this treasure from a younger age, then these young minds will be molded with a much brighter and stronger perspective on how they can handsomely adjust with confidence and motivation when change arises as it always does! J

Like ‘The 5 Languages of Love’ it makes for a great book for discussion among family, friends, business and even lovers! J

Too Polite...

We all know how self-centered people can be, and how much they like everything to be about them, but lets just take a moment and discuss this small issue. Yes; only 5 minutes of your valuable time, if your eyes can run that fast across this screen to gain some insight on this fascinating topic.

Clearly people are raised differently in different parts of the world; some with manners and courtesy and many without. You see, I was taught by my teachers and parents that it is decent to extend courtesies and be gracious with what you have, and make somebody's day a little lighter, a little easier. In other words not being greedy or pushy and allow people instead a moment to shine in the sun. For instance if Rupert and Magdalene are sitting with colouring books and they both want the red crayon, Rupert would offer Magdalene and instead use purple; or something as simple as offering your seat to a lady or an old person when using public transportation. Little things like this certainly show character and build elevated caliber. I've noticed few people doing such things; how lovely they are, and how meek and modest they appear to be. They are true and hidden gems in this polluted world. Humility and Compassion are such great virtues.

I happen to live in Los Angeles, the city of Angels and I do love it very much; creativity and flair to say the least but there are still ugly behaviours that stun me, or perhaps shock me at times, and I worry sometimes if it will become a part of me also. It's quite easy to assimilate and conform, but it isn't that easy for me. Change is said to be a good thing, but in some instances I greatly beg to differ.

There have been numerous amounts of times where people have expressed to me, "Jair, you're too nice!" or "Jair don't be so polite!" or "Jair, if you aren't rude and serve what you're dished out, you'll never make it!" 'Making it'; what they refer to is fame and fortune; two drugs that the majority of those who move and live here are highly addicted to. I am the master of me and I have other plans, my plan is success! What does that mean for me; is simply to enjoy and be well received in my film career, and live a comfortably, happy and stable financial life. A thoughtful, respectable and lovely equal man at my side named 'husband' and a few children in the mix, would be great too! Some argue that with success comes fame and fortune but that is not my ultimate goal. With success I strive to uphold, withhold and shed light on the importance and comfort of our elderly, and aid hopefully in the research towards a cure for the Lupus disease.

Usually at my Improv class, students dash up wanting to perform, and I like to practice at least once to get a feel of it, but tonight my teacher actually picked 4 students specifically to perform. That really bothered me; I thought was it because they were his favourite? Was it because they performed better in his eyes? I understood the rules just as anyone else, my gosh, I could quote them off the top of my head and I never denied or asked silly questions like so many of them usually did!

In Los Angeles it is a constant competition. Everyone is trying to be the next BIG thing and people in the 'business' tend to be very overpowering at times. Whether it be in that they usually barter their services, as in "What do I get in all of this?" Or most times, "Who can I use to get there?" And some times, "I'm going to push my way to the forward!" It is similar to a fight, you have to fight to be heard, fight to be seen, fight to be recognized. Does politeness have a place here? I suppose the obvious answer would be No! But what a shame…what a bloody shame, sure it is wonderful to express yourself and be free to perform on demand, but are we truly wild and mad animals?

I wrote a blog prior entitled 'Little Bo-Beep', and I wrote about feeling like a ballerina spinning in a world of hip-hop, that I'd been so domesticated throughout the years and I wanted to finally be free to express and do what I love. And although I do feel the same about that, I do also believe that it builds more human character and merit to be thoughtful, respectful, patient and grateful as opposed to being greedy, gaudy, pushy and boastful.

You be the judge. How strong is your desire? How will you travel along your path?