Wit

When one says that another has wit; it can either mean that they have a sense of humor or exceptional intelligence. A clever, quick or bright person I'd say. The film Wit is undoubtedly one of my favourite films to date. I was introduced to this film by my Literature writing professor, Dr. Barbara Nightingale in my first semester at University. She made us recite poetry, visit art galleries, and write our own eulogy for one home-work assignment. Wit was a film she made the class watch one warm afternoon; and neither of us had any high expectations; seeing that it was 'only' an HBOtelevision film. Little did we know what we were in store for; a film that tugged enormously at one's heart strings to say the least and for those who hadn't yet been touched by tragedy in life to experience firsthand a path in life every one of us would have to journey.

I marvel at Emma Thompson's performance in this film; it was mind blowingly marvelous work. She committed to the character of Viviane Bearing whole heartedly and completely took us on a beautiful level that made us cherish our lives.

Wit was released in 2001, based on a play by Margaret Edson, with screenplay adaptation by Emma Thompson and Mike Nichols, also directed by Mike Nichols. It was done in memory of Derek Anson Jones. Its subject not one people necessarily enjoy dealing with; that being of death; yet it is one we all must deal with whether we wish to or not.

I am by no means a morbid person, but I must admit because of my life's experiences thus far, these ominous topics do fascinate me. I would be lying if I said I didn't have a fear as many people do, but it is not essentially of passing on that terrifies me but only that there is so much I wish to experience before continuing onwards to the exciting amnesias tic adventure. To experience 'true' love; to feel a life grow inside of me; to walk with my father up the aisle; to travel to Egypt; to walk the red carpet in elegance; to receive awards and recognition for contribution to the film and writing world…so many wonderful things I hope to achieve. But life is short and not promised, and so each day I try to remember that even though I wish to get so many things done, that I should just value each breath, each smile, each touch, sweet sounds, and lovely tastes…because life is truly dazzling and we are truly fortunate to have new days! I am reminded also when spending time with my best friend who is quite young (I suppose as young as myself – although most times I forget my age) and suffers greatly with fragile health; constantly living and visiting hospitals to regulate her mortality. She is by no means a regular girl; yet extraordinary in the way she operates through life. Always with a smile, always positive, always spontaneous…I love her! And also spending time with the elderly at senior homes as well as hospice; such wisdom they share and lessons on appreciation of life. It is something so fulfilling and sacred.

There is a poem which Viviane Bearing continually refers to throughout the film, which reads:

Death be not proud, but some have called thee mighty and dreadful,

For thou art not so, for those that think so, art thou overthrow,

Die not poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me,

Thou art slave, to faith, chance, kings and desperate men, and dost with poison,

More and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms that make us sleep as well,

And better with thine strength, life's well thou then,

One short sleep past, and thee awake eternity,

And death shall be no more, death shall die.

I find it quite heartrending and poignant; akin with this film. I'd seen it once in 2002, and it stayed with me until now; that I had the opportunity to pick the only copy up from the shelf of Fry's Electronics store. It is a film I would recommend for someone to come to terms with life and death and or simply to learn a lesson in how people should treat each other and be pleased about the blessing that is of good health and life! J

Doubts

You can 'Do it'! No! I'm not speaking about 'doing people' or 'doing each other'; no need to let your mind go to the gutter. And if that's what you're thinking, then shame on you! Don't 'do-people' or 'do-anything', enjoy the activity, love the activity, and become the activity. So 'make love', or 'share lunch', or 'have a conversation'. What I'm speaking about is actually believing in your worth and value; you can achieve what you put your mind to.

I am lucky to know from a young age what I was put on this earth to do. What my strong points are, and what I could embellish to ensure happiness in my life and spread love and positivity to others. It was writing and it was film. I always knew that. I loved writing stories and role playing with my cousins when they came over to visit during the summer months. It was always about the story; always about the message, always about the emotions. I absolutely loved it. I will admit though that I've had many doubts along the way and I probably haven't been through all of them as yet; as I am not yet to the point of success that I'd like to be at. However; last night I was proud to know that I could push my doubts aside; because I indeed am capable of my aspirations!

I've mentioned in a prior blog entitled 'It's OK to Cry'; on how difficult it was for me to cry in front of people, or simply have a breakdown of emotions in public. In Trinidad & Tobago as well as my immediate household, crying is seen as a negative and feeble emotion. Growing up, I was the eldest of my siblings and was raised to be tough; I had to set the examples and pave the road for my younger siblings to follow; it was a tremendous responsibility. I cannot say I was always as strong as my 'Super-Woman' mother, nevertheless I had taught myself to cry only behind closed doors. I would remain calm and as solid as a rock for my younger siblings and for whoever else wanted to lean on me. I engrained in myself that crying would make me appear vulnerable and weak. I successfully masked and suffocated this emotion for very many years; and here it was that now in my acting class in America I had to learn to face something I terribly loathed.

It wasn't that I couldn't cry; that would be the most enormous lie, my teddy-bear, my shower, and my bedroom knew the echoes of sadness that befell it. It was just to me an embarrassing emotion that I wanted to keep away from prying eyes. I wanted to be strong and optimistic and wise; everyone who knows me exclaims how 'sunny' and 'happy' I always appear to be. I liked that; but I began to realize over the years that crying in fact was a necessary and beautiful way to heal, and even show strength in a situation, with having the bravery to deal with the emotion instead of burying it.

Although people may scoff at what seems so difficult; it was going to be one of the hardest things for me to do. Perform a serious role, shedding tears and expressing melancholy in front of people and not behind closed doors. This was going to be quite complex! I had tried and failed many times before in class, and marveled at my classmates, even the boys who were able to 'cry on demand'. I somehow was dead when it came to those scenes; I suppose I never really wanted to live them. My acting coach kept pushing me; despite my sometimes dramatic outbursts because I was getting closer and closer to dealing with what I had for so long trained myself not to. I remember he said to me, "Jair, I cannot tell you anything more; you're almost there, but you have to do it yourself…"

I was dreadfully doubtful; I shook my head sadly not thinking I was capable to take on such a mighty task. I tried studying dramatic 'telenovelas' and dense girls on MTV who were able to execute crying with such finesse and splendor and I was worried that it was something I just couldn't do. I asked my acting friends if they had any hints on how I could embrace and achieve such a feat; some laughed, some ignored me, and others said, that it was really just up to me.

I attended class as usual; and I'm not exactly sure what happened, but something stirred inside me. I wanted to be a winner, I wanted to be fearless, and I wanted to finally be what I knew I could be. I was just as good as my classmates and could be as dramatic as those actors in those 'telenovelas'too; but I definitely didn't think I was as ditzy as the girls on MTV [hahah] but I knew I had drive.

After my scene that night, I looked up meekly as the class was silent. My acting coach's expression was priceless, he was staring at me with his mouth wide open, and my classmates, were nodding with enthusiasm. I had done it! I was so proud of myself, and so grateful. Everyone complimented me; and some even hugged me. I became that night a different person; I became the character through and through and I was no longer afraid to deal with my tragedy. I embraced it; I believed it, and by golly George I did it alright! J I am not at the point of streaming tears as yet; but I know I am very close and elated that I am capable of facing one of my biggest fears. We all have doubts in life; but be the master of your thoughts; you can do it! 'Make sweet love' to your fears! For if you are afraid to leave the shore, then how will you ever be able to discover new lands? J

Humility

Sitting with my acting coach and fellow classmates one night; waiting for another classmate to get ready for a scene and performance; we came upon the topic of humility. I deem my professor a very wise and wonderful man; a true and fine father and husband with child-like zeal in his love for being vulnerable to life's situations and converting this into the art of acting. I admire him very much and have learnt so much about life in general from him. However the comment that he made left me feeling quite troubled.

I have found out that to be a good actor, the confidence level of that person should be high. If a person has no confidence in themselves or their abilities; 9 times out of 10 they will fail at being able to carry out their duties as a character in a scene while acting. Actors happen to be quite seemingly self-assured people; and those who are not, are not very good at it; or substitute their fears by abusing drugs and alcohol. So now, in retrospect, it shouldn't have bothered me that my acting coach would make a statement like this in the first place.

He expressed lightly that he didn't find it necessary to teach children to be humble. He didn't understand it, didn't find the importance in it and said if his daughter were to gain an A in an assignment, she should be able to smile and stand proudly for what she had achieved. I saw his significance in this however I couldn't agree fully. The other students sitting in his daughter's class, would have different reactions to her emotional output. Some would be positive and others who didn't do as well may be jealous or even sad. The students in my class didn't see the relevance in my 'then' argument and agreed strongly with my professor's point of view. One classmate even said that when she lived in the East for a couple years, they were always so humble, bowing ever so much and she thought it was absurd and almost comical at times even. I was filled in a room of Americans; in fact I am surrounded by them mostly as I reside in the United States. I do not judge them; but wish I could help them see different points of view. Each country around the world that I've had the opportunity to frequent and visit have different cultural upbringing and reasoning and so I could recognize why they had comparable insight.

I am not from the East; however my great grandfather migrated to Trinidad & Tobago from Hong-Kong. Through my family upbringing as well as being tolerant and taught about different religions and cultures in my country; I am more open-minded and sensitive towards different people's thought processes. It is the most important to be respectful to parents, elderly and authority, but most importantly respect to each other; and after that being humble. My people are for the most part very passive.

I certainly think that it is important to be proud of achievements you have made in life and also to not sit back and let people take advantage of you, however I believe also that it is pertinent to teach our young ones about humility because it is an essential quality in spiritual life; and not only that but it is an outward expression of the desire to go beyond the ego. The ego is a very serious thing; what kind of presence do you want to have in a room? Would you rather one of modesty or one of arrogance? Which sort of person do you prefer to keep company with? We must ask ourselves these questions…

Life is all about impermanence; which means that nothing lasts forever. Your wealth, health, and happiness can be taken away or changed in the blink of an eye. If one were to go around boasting or being smug about their fortunate moments; it would be more than dreadful for them when they fall. In that respect we must remember not to be self-righteous or haughty in life's situations because everything is unpredictable and sacred. Therefore when children are proud of their achievements we must tell them to smile and be grateful but also to be humble about the situation; it comes back to the point of respect for others. Respect for life, respect to nature, respect to fellow beings; for if you were to project this negative energy toward them, more times than less a negative return could be returned.

There are so many stories I can share of why we must be humble but I will just share this one that a lovely friend shared with me:

"I was in high school back then; and he was the most handsome boy I ever saw. He was so good-looking; and he knew it. He walked around without a care in the world, and he would play pranks on classmates and also some neighbours. He never got caught and he had the world eating out of his hand. One day he decided to interfere once more with a neighbour by throwing rocks at his window; the old man was known for his impatience towards the young mischievous children around him. What the handsome boy did not know was that the old man had purchased a gun. That night something in the old man snapped, and he limped outside and shot the boy in the head. The boy went into a coma for many months; he was unable to finish his last year of high school with his classmates, instead hoping to recover from this terrible trauma. He was lucky enough to come back to his family and to life; however he was left blind. He could no longer walk around arrogantly and poke fun and be mischievous to students or neighbours."

I'm sure this boy learn't his lesson; however he had to learn the hard way. Teach your children and young ones about respect for each other and humility now; or one day it may be too late.

An Education

I must say anytime I watch an English or Scottish film I feel all tingly inside because the words they use remind me so much of home. True the Caribbean has African, East-Indian, Syrian, Chinese, Spanish, French and Dutch influences; but the Brits and the Scots in most cases ruled us the last and the longest. I smiled when I heard them speak of tea and biscuits; very common in Trinidad & Tobago, and when the girls spoke of nighties', A-levels and wore uniforms, it brought back so many memories.

I have been wanting to see a Carey Mulligan film since the 2010 Academy Awards as she was new on the scene and had many nominations for her films; I found this film An Education a wonderful one to start with, really confirming her brilliant talent. I'd also want to see her because she was the one lucky enough to snatch Shia LaBeouf before I could get to him; no animosity towards her however; only kudos to his good international taste! J

I must admit I was even more thrilled to see that Emma Thompson had a small part in the film as well. She is definitely one of my favourite people to watch; and I absolutely loved her in one of my beloved films entitled Wit. An Education was set in Mulligan's home-town, the United Kingdom, and I must say it was a magnificent cinematic ride that I think all young girls should take. The script/story of films should always be at the forefront, if you get lost in fluff and antics then I believe the film-maker has failed in spreading the main message to its audience. I believe the writer Lynn Barber & Nick Hornby, and director, Lone Scherfig of this film did a wonderful job at making sure to do just that; spreading the message.

There were some superb camera techniques in this film. I always like when camera-men are able to show reflections in mirrors and capture reflections within car windows; not everyone can pull that off. The soundtrack was good too, I found myself singing along to Smoke without Fire written by Bernard Butler and performed by Duffy. Carey's performance was without a doubt marvelous; I must say she did her part great justice. Some of the logic behind the film though didn't make much sense to me; I found her parents; especially her father's behaviour to be completely wild. He was quite adamant in the beginning about her finishing her secondary schooling to begin her tertiary level education at Oxford University, however it seemed as though just overnight he found it acceptable to have her throw everything away to marry a seemingly wealthy man who was thrice her age. I found that move rather poor and baffling as not only for a parent but also as a father knowing what the world is about. I call it a 'Pride & Prejudice' move; I find it always important for a woman to be able to stand on her own 2 feet and accrue her own wealth, that way no-one would be able to take advantage of her or have her helpless if the relationship goes sour.

Although Notes on a Scandal and The Reader had similar disturbing mis-fit relationship attributes, I found the relationship between Carrie Mulligan (Jenny) and Jack played by Alfred Molina to be more absorbing because even though their ages were enormously different, Carrie's character was a bright and clever one and she seemed at times even more mature than her co-stars.

The film ends abruptly and happily but I would have much rather seen her fight harder and deal with more struggles than for her to only shed a few tears, and a year of extra studies before riding around the grounds of Oxford University campus on bicycle. Her character was almost heartless and disrespectful in the beginning and when she found out her first lover was married, I didn't find myself feeling sorry for her character in the least. I only saw how her foolishness took her there in the first place! I would have also liked to see the character Graham played by Mathew Beard, return in a more stunning light. He was a charming and humble boy that didn't have enough play; he certainly needed to have a turn of events in positive karma after the way she treated him previously. I in fact, related more to his character, and although he didn't have as many speaking parts, I felt his pain much more.

Life is Beautiful

! Bonjourno Principessa! -- Good Morning Princess! This was the phrase Roberto Benigni used to greet his wife on screen in this beautiful film. Although to many this simple expression has little meaning, he in fact radiated such respect and love; a love so guiltless, so pure, so true! I smile because once upon a time, I too was greeted with such love every morning too.

Life is Beautiful is an Italian film and is the winner of over 70 International Film Awards; Best Picture and Best Foreign Picture in the same year since 1969; 7 Academy Award nominations, taking home 3 for Best Dramatic Score, Best Actor and Best Foreign Language Film; Best Jewish Film and gaining the Medal of Jerusalem, and in Italy, the Best Film in 9 different categories; all in 1998.

Roberto Benigni is without a doubt one of my favourite people; someone I admire and look up to. My hero list isn't very long, but for this man, he makes my heart smile. He was one of the first and few creative and talented people to write, direct and act in his very own film; not only did he accomplish all this, but also won awards for his incredible masterpiece entitled 'La Vita e Bella', in English meaning 'Life is Beautiful'. It is such a powerful and epic tour de force that it motivates me as a human every time I watch it. His film talents are not only what astound me but also in person he is a charming, energetic and comical man, very optimistic and engaging.

This film shows the injustice of World War 2, of people facing tragedy of families separated but through it all Benigni shows courage, and uses physical humor to teach his son to have the desire to survive, to keep the hope and keep smiling. This film teaches its audience to have love, forgiveness and to be unstoppable even in suffering. It is filled with adventure, action, romance, sadness and loads of comedy.

Like another of my favourite Italian films, Cinema Paradiso, it is enchanting in a sense, because it brings imagination, family and love to the forefront, having these attributes conquer all. One feels empathy for its characters because the audience is taken on an extraordinary ride of love and life. When the character is happy, we smile, and when the character is dealt suffering, we feel also sadness.

This film always puts me in a better mood. Even though by the end my eyes are red and swollen, I know I've had a good laugh as well. Roberto Benigni is a tiny man with a giant's energy and he mirrors immaculately the late and great Charlie Chaplin (English actor whom American's claim as their own because of his extensive career in America); he is very animated with his movements as though he is dancing to the sweetest of music.

My favourite moments of the film; ones that stand out for me for different reasons would be when he was speaking to his uncle about serving and bowing; Roberto's character Guido said that he should bow very low to whomever he might serve, and his uncle corrected him and said: "Think of a sunflower. They bow to the sun. But if you see some that are bowed down…it means they are dead. You're serving, you're not a servant. Serving is a supreme art. God is the 1^st servant, God serves men, but he's not a servant to men…" For me this statement is poignant because people never show respect for others with menial jobs like bus drivers, janitors, waiters, workers who pick ripe grapes in the field for wine, flight attendants etc. People look down on those who are there to help them and are demanding and greedy. But everybody's job is of importance and whether you want to admit it or not; we are all equal. Who cares what part we play, what uniform we wear and how many 'Get out of Jail Free' cards we may carry? When our life comes to an end, we all rot the same, and cannot take any of this with us. We may as well show each other reverence and respect.

I also loved that they brought to light the famous German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer who taught us that with willpower you can accomplish anything; you are who you want to be! What you wish for yourself is literally in your power; therefore have no fear and expect great things to be yours after you've done the right things.

The riddles throughout the film were quite refreshing as well; I may not be the smartest of cookies but I love a good puzzle and always love coming up with new strategies to get what I want in life. Some work; others do not; but it's always fun setting them up to solve.

I really needed to see this film again today; to remind myself that yes indeed 'Life is Beautiful', and that I am free to be who I am and to speak the truth; and even if people laugh at me or say that I take life too seriously; I know who I am and what I want, and if serious is me being passionate and honest about my life; and giggles and laughter should come about because I hug and dance with a container of oatmeal because it brings me fond memories, then so be it. I will cry when I want to, and laugh when I want to and speak the truth of how I feel when I wish to because it allows me to sleep well at night; there are no elephants standing in my room; for this I am grateful for and I shan't ask any more questions but simply smile through the painful days.

I will leave you with some wise words of Roberto Benigni who said:"Sometimes only clowns can reach real tragedy!" J

CRASH

"Don't speak to me, unless you speak American!" this is the last line of the film called 'Crash'. Written by Bobby Moresco and directed by Paul Haggis; Canadian filmmaker. I'd never been enormously fond of policemen, in fact never been even the least fond of policemen…well maybe this one time when a police officer named Martin gave me a ride back to my car when I was stranded after having my car impounded; it was kind of fun riding in the back of his car, like I was in a scene of a movie or something, or maybe this one other time speaking with the son of a police officer, he seemed to be a pretty decent fella', so I suppose his father couldn't be that much a terror.

Crash is a film about the ugly truth; it's about prejudice, racism, fear, hope, and about how human lives are interwoven between each other; it is a heartwarming tale that takes you on a passionate journey within. Of the similarities and differences that each of us take, somewhat laughable, and many times embarrassing of how we treat and view our fellow man.

I loved the transition shots and the soundtrack was ideal for the thrilling and extreme scenes throughout the film. Crash shows that there is evil within us all; anger, fear, and ugliness that often times overpower even the best of us. It tries to remind us to not judge a book by its cover and form intolerance and discrimination against other people. There are scenes in this film that I feel many people can relate with; and things are said that would often time only discussed behind closed doors.

I find this film to be quite an enjoyable one, however I cannot say that it is the most ingenious and unique technique used for the story line. As in the flawlessly made French film 'Happenstance' the system of using related lives and turn of events has indeed been done before. What is distinctive in this film is that it is set in Los Angeles, a very eclectic place with unpredictable circumstances because of intolerance. It also has a cast filled with iconic actors like Brendan Fraser, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, Sandra Bullock, and Thandie Newton (British actress) to name a few.

Adventurous stories armed with power struggles combined into one; a must-see film in my book. J

It's not ALL about the money!

One can gain knowledge from books, but I find that simply sitting next to a complete stranger, one can gain the wisest and most heartrending of insights. It was at such a meeting that I expanded on my awareness. Waiting for the bus, in the wee hours of the morning, I sat next to a stranger. He was an older man, dressed grimily and he greeted me with a smile and offered a seat next to him. I wasn't really in the mood for talking; I felt a bit down, not really because I had a long day, but because I had felt defeated yet again even though I tried to do the right thing. This man was from the Philippines; I hadn't had the opportunity to visit as yet, but I knew a great deal about his country

He started off by asking me if I had to work the following day. I frowned and explained that I would be 'on-call' and hadn't flown today either. He smiled and told me at least I got paid for the hours I was at the airport; he exclaimed knowingly, "It's NOT all about the money!" He said that he had the following 4 days off, and that Thursday there was the Lakers game, Friday the World Cup and then on Saturday another Lakers game, he chuckled to himself; his wrinkled nose folding in and out as he laughed. He repeated to me, "It's NOT all about the money!" He continued, "It's about time spent with family and friends, it's about nature and about enjoying life, it's about happiness and about health. He said Americans were all about work, work, work, and then working some over-time too. He called them a sue-happy country, and that for them it was all about the money!

I smiled at him and nodded, because I had heard 2 stories that day about people suing companies for the silliest things. One incident was of a woman who purchased a cup of coffee at McDonalds, she went to her table, sat down and accidentally (I would assume/hope) spilled the coffee on her leg. She sued the company saying that the coffee was too hot; McDonalds had to pay a whopping $250,000 because of it. And then earlier this morning, a policeman on motorcycle collided with a car on the infamous 405 highway, and the policeman was in critical condition, and the other driver was injured but said that he was going to sue because of the car accident. It made me really wonder about the people living here. My Pilipino stranger told me that although he had been living here in the United States for many years he always tried to visit home at least once a year; to get a good dose of his culture and his people and remember his serious upbringing.

He told me he was married for 25 years, and asked me if I was married too. I shook my head and smiled, the older I got, and more often I'd hear that question asked. Many of my friends were already married, some already popping out babies too. I told him he was lucky to have a companion, someone to share with and speak about his day. He agreed, he said that after all the sex, if you didn't have companionship, you'd have nothing. I agreed; several times I'd try to develop something like this, and always something seemed to squash my vision; it was as though I'd been doomed for love; but I knew it was just not the right time yet; because every morning I woke up, I would be one day closer to that special bond with my equal.

He told me, "You're a pretty girl, tall, good job, an education, you don't have to worry!" I was laughing hysterically in my head; because this night I didn't see it that simply. I knew that I shouldn't worry, but I did most times anyway; trait handed down from my father I suppose. He overcame it though and for many years now he was the master of his thoughts; I was still working on mastering this craft. The man went on to tell me that I should always take things slow, never be in a rush, that he dated his wife for 2 years before he got married.

"Marrying an American can also be tricky!" he declared, explaining to me that for them it was more about instant gratification and after getting sex, they are ready for another person. They do not try to work out differences, compromise or listen to each other, they automatically think; if this is too hard, then let's just get a divorce.

He taught me of the 3 rings in marriage.

The Engagement Ring

The Wedding Ring and

The Suffer-Ring.

We laughed heartily together at this. He said without trust, faithfulness and communication, then there is no marriage, no relationship, and no hope. The bus pulled up shortly after this. I probably will never see this man again; but it is nights like these, when things seem daunting and cheerless that the easiest thing to do is to sit next to a stranger and have your energy restored. J