Joy in my Heart

I remember reading once somewhere something quite ordinary, but today I find that simple statement quite extraordinary. It read 'Life changes, think ahead'. Hmmm… yes indeed it does. In fact it changes whether one is ready for it or not. One day could be lovely, pretty and hopeful, and the next gruesome and daunting. How can we plan ahead for these changes we wonder? Well the answer is quite simple actually; it is keeping in mind that life is impermanent.

Impermanence means that nothing is forever. I learnt about this as a small girl, but didn't understand it fully or liked to hear it, but yes it is the truth. The truth is the truth is the truth, no ifs, ands, or buts, it just is, and it is wise to speak the truth, for the truth could never be a bad thing.

So therefore if nothing lasts forever, except maybe love. Or so my hopeless romantic heart would like to think; knowing this we should try not to become attached to certain circumstances or conditions. Change is inevitable; and it is not necessarily a bad thing, but in fact a prerequisite. A prerequisite in life that is! Just as the tides change in the sea; and the weather turns from winter to spring; or a baby grows its first teeth; just so also do relationships evolve, situations adjust and circumstances transform. How should we deal with this you ask? Simple, we must also change, and be resilient. It is only through positivity and understanding are we able to flourish as an individual.

Yesterday was Memorial Day in America, and many people have the day off to spend time with friends and family. Boys watch games and drink beer, girls talk and talk and talk, and I suppose drink too. I spent it hiking and laying the sun, in the evening I did meet up with some friends. And underneath the laughter and drinking and games I thought about my childhood friend.

Her name was Sunita Maraj, she was a year or so older than me. A simple girl, she didn't seem very bright in primary school; I knew that because I would let her copy my work as we sat next to each other. She was called names, and no one would play with her, because she smelt of coconut oil. She had a best friend in me, I didn't care about that smell and she was brilliant in my eyes. She made me laugh, and she was always at my side. Time passed and we lost touch, but I'm sure if I saw her today we would still have the same love for each other. Sunita died yesterday; I was given the news by my father. She was so young, childless, probably didn't work in her dream career or have the opportunity to travel the world. And she was killed; in the most horrific way. She makes number 6 of my friends dying tragically within the past 3 years. It saddens me at moments, but I know that she came to learn lessons in this life and inspire and evoke some type of change with this experience for also the people around her and in her life. An example of sorts; meaning many different things for many different people, and for me again, I think that of impermanence.

I was doing some light reading the other day, which I will share with you:

Impermanency and Egolessness –

…Though both body and mind appear because of cooperating causes, it does not follow that there is an ego-personality. As the body of flesh is an aggregate of elements, it is, therefore, impermanent. If the body were an ego-personality, it could do this and that as it would determine. A king has the power to praise or punish as he wishes, but he becomes ill despite his intent or desire, he comes to old age unwillingly, and his fortune and his wishes often have little to do with each other. Neither is the mind the ego-personality. The human is an aggregate of causes and conditions. It is in constant change. If the mind were an ego-personality, it could do this and that as it would determine; but the mind often flies from what it knows is right and chases after evil reluctantly. Still, nothing seems to happen exactly as its ego desires.

The human mind, in its never-ending changes, is like the flowing water of river or the burning flame of a candle; like an ape, it is forever jumping about, not ceasing for even a moment. A wise man, seeing and hearing such, should break away from any attachment to body or mind…

[Excerpt from The Teaching of Buddha]

And for those of you who aren't as jolly and free with different texts or thinking there is also a wonderful story of a man named Job. It is one of my favourites actually. It is about a man, a very wealthy man who had everything. He had a beautiful wife and many children, and lavish feasts and vast fields and many cattle. One day Lucifer was conversing with God and said, "I bet you that if you took everything away from Job, he would no longer worship you…" God smiled and said, "Ah but you are wrong, Job is a good man with plenty faith and will never forsake me…" Lucifer replied, "Really? Well let me have a go at him, and we'll see how strong his faith really is!" And so it was that Lucifer tested him and made his life a living hell…literally. He lost his wife and his children died, and his crops were eaten by pests, and he lost his posh house and many friends, he even became very ill, with revolting sores all over his body, and became emaciated. Lucifer said to him, "Curse God and I will give back to you all that you have lost…" But Job did not, his body was weak, but his mind was stronger and he gave thanks for the little he had, he knew that he could overcome it and with his undying faith he would once again be happy and strong. Because of his unswerving faith, God didn't give him what he'd lost, he blessed him with three times as much; more than he could have ever imagined.

I rather enjoy this story; and I believe it also speaks of impermanence in life, because you can lose valuable things in the blink of an eye. Personal material belongings, family to death, love lost, your health, it is endless, that is why with each day be grateful, for despite walking in the darkness of life, we must go bravely and smile through our suffering, before each step know that ground will appear and you won't fall, and if you do happen to stumble in the dark, you can get back up and truly shine and be blessed after your lessons in adversity! It is only through the stumbles and falls that we get extra points and bonuses on the tests in life! J

I think of times when I'd wake up with so much joy in my heart, greeted with such love and understanding and beauty, and sure enough as often times predicted, it is taken away from me; only for a fleeting moment, for a season, for a lesson. I yearn for stability at some point, for the strength of eternity, for lasting love, like grains of sand on the beach…or a rock, it will always be solid, it will always be there; you can move a rock, but you cannot change its feelings or who it is! So have joy in your heart always despite the lesson, despite the change that befalls us, we may not be able to see the big picture now but it is Oh So Perfect!

A childhood song that Sunita and I sang:

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy

Down in my heart,

Where?

Down in my heart

Who?

Down in my heart

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy

Down in my heart

Down in my heart to stayyyyy!

Rest in peace, my dear friend, Sunita J