Fall on your Knees

I've been trying my best to dodge all the red and green decorations on Pine trees, slide by the Christmas tunes and Ho-ho-ho's from dancing Santa Claus', zone out the families bickering in the aisle right next to the cashier when I am checking out and scurrying past the lovers kissing passionately under the mistletoe; but lemme' tell you, it's been mighty difficult. It is Christmas after all, and just because you happen to sacrifice yours this year, for whatever reasons, the show still must go on! I remember one Christmas being snuggled up in my hotel room bed with a warm cookie, and no milk…but who am I kidding, people from Trinidad & Tobago don't have no cookies and no milk…we don't dip our sweets anywhere except our mouths; now maybe some roti-skin or parata in some good curry channa and pumpkin, now you're talking! But yes, I'd prefer a nice cup of tea with my cookie…or wait; make that champagne, at least then I'd feel like I was celebrating something! But no such luck that year, and the way things are going, most likely no such luck this year either. It's no fun to work during the holidays, or worse yet, not work at all and be at home alone. Unless you're a 10 year old boy named Macauley Culkin, who stars in his very own film, concocting mischief, then you sometimes just have to bite the bullet or bite the cookie in my case, and crunch your way into happiness…

In Trinidad & Tobago, Carnival is our biggest holiday/festival; we are a people of party and living each day as our last, we have the most calendar holidays in the world, topping off at 16, and although Carnival is what we live for; Christmas would have to be our close 2^nd. From November, it's officially Christmas Season in Trinidad & Tobago, my people go all out! They purchase new furniture, or re-upholster their old ones, they sew beautiful curtains, they do a thorough cleaning, out with the old and in with the New Year quickly approaching and my people, they like to COOK! I wish I could say I took more time cooking with my Mummy, but for some reason, she and my sister always shooed me out of the kitchen. They like to do things fast, I prefer to enjoy the moment; I might add that I have some very impressive video of me dancing while mixing up and baking our infamous 'Black Cake'. I thought it tasted divine, and my little dance number, let's just say, it was the icing on the cake! – hahah. There are so many wonderful pastries, cakes, meals and drinks made during this time. Feeding our neigbours and friends is one of the gifts we like to give during Christmas. There are even songs we sing during this time about our food. There is one in particular; entitled 'Trini Christmas is the best' by Susan Macio that goes a little something like this:

"I met a mister, from Magarita, and he wanted to take me for dinner. I said dinner would be fiiiine, because now it's Christmas tiiiime…Ah give him bread and ham, together with a pastel, ginger beer, puncha crème and sorrel…He turn to me and say, Oh yes, Trini Christmas is de bess, is de bess, is de bess…"

People say that to listen to a Trini speak is like music itself; you see Calypso, which became quite popular in the 60's, with great names like Lord Kitchener and the Mighty Sparrow, who sang classical melodies with double meanings that made the hardest of hearts, smile and sing along too. You don't need a Celine Dion or Andrea Botticelli voice to sing Calypso, anybody's voice with a little melody and fine story will do. Another immense part of a Trini Christmas would have to be PARANG! It's when we sing our Christmas carols/songs in Spanish. There are many influences in Trinidad & Tobago, Spanish, French, British, Scottish, Dutch, East-Indian, African, Syrian and Chinese, but during Christmas time, despite our backgrounds, religions or languages, we enjoy bringing out our banjos and maracas, and visit house to house, with the gift of music.

This year, I am not in my rainforest paradise for Christmas. I am very alone, and very without family, loved ones, and/or Trini Parang and food. But I must still be grateful, thankful for what I do have; one can only sleep so long in a day to try to speed up the time, one can only wallow in depression for so long and then one has to wake up! With life there is impermanence, and that means that everything lasts for just a moment. Now may be depressing for some, lacking the love of family, friends and food for Christmas; but this too shall pass, and another year and another Christmas will commence. It is only an experience to make the next Christmas that more sacred and special. We are here now, and must go through this experience, and smile knowing, yes indeed it's not what we expected or want, but yes indeed it won't last.

Surfing through face-book earlier today, I had the heartiest of laughs; you see everyone is sharing their magical moments, and commenting about how much shopping they're getting done, and about how wonderful their holidays are with their wifey or hubby, but one stood out for me amongst the rest; it read: "It's beginning to look NOTHIN' like Christmas…" And I shared his sentiments precisely because; it isn't quite cheery for everyone out there. This brings me to my favourite Christmas carol, and it would certainly have to be, O' Holy Night, originally a French song written by Placide Capeau in 1847. For me, it epitomizes the true meaning of Christmas.

"Fall on your knees and hear the angels' voices…", "A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices…", "The King of Kings lay thus in a lowly manger…in all our trials, born to be our friend…" and "Truly he taught us to love one another…chains shall he break…" There are so many inspirational verses within this carol, that when you hear it, you can't bare but feel a little bit Christmassy, or for others who are alone, a bit sad. But listen to the words of this song, "Fall on your knees, and hear the angels' voices…" for without us being still/silent, and realizing the beauty of the night, or without us being humble and grateful for what we do have, then how shall we ever be guided by the angels, how can we hear what they say if we do not surrender from the pain/suffering/disappointments/trials like this one and let go of the noise and aching within our hearts.

For those alone this Christmas, or working like me, (having to wish everyone a wonderful holiday while wearing a bright red, jingling hat and a smile) meditate or 'crunch in' on this song …which is quite beautiful. Smile, for the life with which you do have, and know that you are never alone but surrounded by heavenly angels, who are rejoicing in your strength at this time, and realize that in the near future you will be surrounded by your family/friends/lover/future family too! J