On Desire

I've been doing some reading lately, as always; I took after my father that way. I eat books and he just happens to be a book-worm. Books really are quite delicious actually, not only do they entertain your imagination but you are inspired by the new information you receive. I've been raised to think that you should just do the best with what you have and be content. Not that I didn't have great things growing up, but I was someone who always had a hunger for more. It didn't make me crazy not having things others had; it wasn't even material things I thought about, but mostly about becoming an expert me; in other words, an expert at recognizing and developing my skills on this journey of life.

I knew from a young age what I enjoyed, and I yearned to make this enjoyment a part of my everyday activities. I was stifled for a long time, but I never lost sight of my main aim or aspiration. People, who happened to have enough power to slow me down, and discourage me, believed that Desire for more was a bad thing. They believed that some few chosen could have what they wanted and others had to live a hum-drum, ordinary life and make the best of it. That might be okay for some, but for me, I still believed that having a desire to become better shouldn't be seen as a negative thing and should be available for all who had the determination to succeed.

Sure the path in life is not only to achieve things, but also greatly that of spirituality, that of love. Living a life of love for others and yourself, is the ultimate pleasure and fulfillment. It occurred to me however, that even though this may be the most important aspect of life; that my time and our time here on earth also needed to be one of worldly enjoyment. Whether that be driving the car of your dreams, travel, or living a life of luxury and comfort. Sure a person with strong faith and spirituality has complete comfort, but we also live in the world and to be 'present' completely, we should also take time out to enjoy the sweet aspects as well.

Meditating and praying is powerful, but I also loved dancing, laughter, and good wine; a time to just let loose. Why couldn't I have both? Why couldn't I merge the 2 together and have the ultimate happiness. Elders in my community and wise ones frowned upon my idea, and even though I respected them and valued their advice, I still found the answers within myself. One should not lean too heavily on any one thing. Life is about the middle way, the middle path. It is about balance but also that of experience.

I had heard many things about Tantra; sexual /sensual experiences, witchcraft, black magic; all of which was wrong, and after reading some more on it, I found out that it's about when spirituality meets the materialistic. It is about merging the spiritual and worldly path. So I saw finally that 'my way' was accepted by many others and that other people too had the same thoughts. I still have loads to learn but I am happy to say that you should listen to your heart. The answers are all there, be silent and hear what it is whispering to you! J