White Jesus

So last night at Improv class I performed with a 'new' girl, and while up there in front of our peers, I was taken aback by her statement, caught it, and still managed to turn it into a positive scene. Unfortunately her statement bothered me more than I'd hoped for. What was wrong with me? Why could it not slide off my back, like water did on a duck? I'd been raised better than that, and have been all my life, working on being the master of my emotions. I obviously still have heaps more work to do. I don't necessarily blame the girl, at the end, she shook my hand and they were quivering and sweaty. But even if she said sorry and it was her first time at Improv, it didn't truly make me believe it was her first time making comments like that.

We worked with horses in our scene, and what she said was that her amazing horse was named White Jesus. I smiled with wide eyes and told her mine was named Knight Rider and she in turn took it to the next level by saying that it was 'funny' that she was white with a white horse, that was soft, white and good. Sigh** still not rolling off my back; and even more so my mind. I have definitely been saying I wish to write a book in regards to my feelings on race but haven't gotten around to it as yet. At the moment I'm more focused on publishing my collection of poetry as well as my flight attendant travel story book. But since visiting Nepal last year, and also dating a few guys that made insensitive statments; I've been itching to write my thoughts on how situations like this make me feel, and not just me, but how they make everyone without alabaster skin feel. I already have a name, I suppose all I need to do now is dedicate some time towards it.

No-one would guess it; like they don't care to know about individuals' heritage either, and instead only judge them by the colour of their skin. But like Barack Obama, Billie Holiday, Bob Marley, Halle Berry, Naomi Campbell, Lenny Kravitz, Tyson Beckford, Sade, and Rashida Jones; I too come from mixed ancestry. In fact, many people from the Caribbean and the majority of my friends growing up there, are multi-racial too. Mine specifically happen to be African, Chinese and the Caucasian race. Yes, my grandmothers are white, and I just happened to be very close to them. My family is diverse, beautiful and everyone is lovely in their own way. Being of mixed race and growing up with not only different races within my family but also with my childhood friends, allowed me to embrace the differences, respect it and take pleasure in its unique beauty. I suppose I'm just tired of 'white lies' being okay and 'black Friday', 'black sheep' and 'hell' being negative, dark and bad. I'm tired of these silly statments made and engrained in us all from the beginning of time. Jesus was not white! I mean how many white Jesus' do you see walking around Los Angeles? Not to mention the man himself from Bethlehem that Christians speak of as being white! If you'd rather argue that in fact Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed are white, that's fine, but I just want to know why everything bad has to be black or completely disregarded?

My acting coach enlightened me the other day that the cover of the Vanity Fair last week was interesting, and I had the pleasure of skimming through it while waiting to board a plane this week. He was right; all the young women that they said were 'up & coming' the shining stars of our acting future were indeed white. Names like Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried, Kristen Stewart, and Emma Roberts were exemplified, and showcased on the cover. But I wondered about Zoe Saldana, Gabourney Sidibe, Mo'Nique, America Ferrera, Jennifer Hudson, Michelle Rodriguez, Devon Aoki, and Jessica Alba? Why weren't they on the cover as well? And whatever happened to Gabriel Union and Kerry Washington? Aren't they in enough movies to be considered 'up & coming' as well? I know that in the old days when there was black & white film, people of colour were usually care-takers, servants or maids, with little words said, and if so, usually nothing of importance. I know that in the 60's, 70's and 80's, there still weren't many roles offered in Hollywood in respect to lead roles or serious roles of pertinence offered to non-whites, but even today, I find that there is still a great struggle to have them rise above their customary comedic, athletic and illicit roles. Thank Goodnes for Tyler Perry, Denzel Washington and Wil Smith for making steps forward and making films of substance as opposed to being seen always as the criminal or rapist. I certainly respect Mr. Perry as a filmmaker, but I personally think he has made it, a 'blacks mostly' deal. I long to see more mixing, Blacks alongside Whites, Hispanics alongside Chinese etcetera; and this is where Caribbean film comes in. Yes; you may not have heard about it, but it is slowly becoming known; and I hope to be one of its pioneers.

It is only a dream now, but is in the works of becoming a reality. White Jesus may be chaste, soft, good and accepted but Knight Rider is sleek, strong, beautiful, and slowly will become recognized as something good. I was born with the same feelings, blood, organs & I will be a winner! :))