Rock So

Lately, I've been bombarded with relationship or rather 'lack thereof' relationship issues by few of my girlfriends who are the few indeed that haven't already tied the knot. They have been lamenting and conversing with me the difficulty of finding the right mate and simply gentlemen for that matter. Tis true, there are hardly any gentlemen or ladies left in society today. No decent conversations, etiquette, morals, manners…everyone seems to be self-gratifying, selfish, and crude; lacking common courtesies, and good naturedness. Really, whatever has happened to the men and women of yesteryear?

Every now and then I'd have the pleasure of interviewing old, jolly couples sitting together on my aircraft, with hands tightly clasped together. I tend to spot out old people from afar with my 'I love old people vision', as I truly do admire their wisdom and stories. Some of them have been married, 40, 50, and recently I had a couple who'd been married a whole 52 years!

I always ask them what is their secret to a successful partnership? What advice would they give young people not yet married? And the answers they give are always quite worthy and poignant. One German couple said: "You must be nice to one another, and you must laugh with one another!" Another American couple said: "She's always right!" One said: "She was a singer, so she kept us entertained, and I was a lawyer, so I made the money!"But the best I'd heard was on my last trip, when the husband said rather 'matter-of-factly': "Pay Attention!"And they were just 2 words, but held great weight. He was right, pay attention to the one you love, listen to them, and make sure they're feeling their best. I also take it as communication; if you realize something's not right and the other is upset, then the clever thing to do would be to talk it out, and not be selfish with your own agenda. For surely everybody has the same 24 hours in the day, there is always enough time to say hello, thinking about you, or I miss you, during a day. We all get lunch breaks and bathroom breaks, not to mention scratching breaks (maybe there should be a little less of those – hahah). And for those of you who travel like I do; I'm sure you must check your email or face book at least once or twice in your 'oh so busy' week.

Nowadays everybody's busy! The economy is shot in America, and they're in dreadful debt, people are cutting back, working as much as they can, when they can. Some are addicts, throwing themselves 100% into their work schedules, and jeopardizing any other thing that may come simultaneously with it. I know it's nice to make money, I know people like nice things, and in some professions, and some people aim to get the fame that sometimes comes along with the fortune. They're on the top of their game, they're sailing on cloud 9, people like them, and they don't ever want to get down back to earth. They like it so much, that they forget who they really are, their groundings, and more importantly the people who truly loved them and were around them and gave their time and energy when they needed them the most (in some cases even despite ugly situations which made them sick with sadness, they sacrificed their own happiness for the benefit of the one they loved or cared about).And now, who cares about these true friends? How quickly one forgets! How important now are these people who pay you, when they only use you to get paid bigger bucks? Ahhh, but the attention feels good eh? Getting invited to all those splendid outings; who cares about the one that was with you on the phone when you cried your heart out. Did you not realize how much they truly loved you? Silly Rabbit!

I tell my girlfriends, "If he doesn't respect you and your feelings, if he doesn't respect himself to be so daft and not pay attention to the gem before him, then let him 'Rock So!" One never misses the water till the well runs dry. And if they have so little self respect to remain 'Good Friends' with people who completely disregarded their love and feelings before, then I'm not too sure I want to even be 'Friends' with somebody like that. For those of you that haven't caught on to the hip, yet eloquent lingo of Trinidad & Tobago, 'Rock So'means, 'Step Aside'.

My darlings out there, women and men alike, don't compromise your good etiquette, and unconditional love on someone that doesn't recognize it, or has suddenly been blinded because of new glistening opportunities and new-found happiness. If you are ignored and swept into a corner and forgotten, remember your value and your worth. For no two people are built the same. And just because the world demands others to fit into the 'so called' perfection of Kim Kardashian's and Jennifer Aniston's, no-one can really know the value of what's inside of you, until you open your mouth, and until you're both dealt tragedy and turmoil. If you can withstand that together, you can withstand anything. Rare do you find a beauty that actually has intellect and mindfulness too. How you stand up and stand by tumultuous situations, truly expose your character.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but not if the heart is completely ignored. In everything, there is a purpose, and I'm pretty sure if someone cannot see the beauty radiating from your face because of the pure light and love you hold in our heart, then they may never recognize the purpose that is of you being in their lives. Do not fret my child, for you are never alone in this world that is ever-changing. Find peace within the heavenly realms and ask no questions, just trust and believe in the truth that was promised to you. For even if they don't recognize you, the angels do and one day your withered and tired heart will soar and beam with happiness and requited love, you ever so rightly deserve. J

As my great aunt Phyllis said: "You weren't brought this far, if it wasn't meant to be". And tis true, patience is bitter and the fruit is always sweet, but be sure you're waiting on a tree that bears fruit, and not one blinded with thorns and ferns, with no ambition to give ripe fruit to your succulent lips that need so badly a satisfying bite! J

Bless-up!

Jair